Roger Ebert is starting to
bother me
(Written Summer of 2002)
Now that I have become a successfully published, widely read and respected movie critic, the time has come for me to lash out against my peers. Let me start by saying that I typically ignore the opinions of all movie reviewers. I like reading them but I don't really care what they have to say. I have never not watched a movie because someone told me they didn't like it. Friends, family, co-workers, critics... their judgments mean zilch to me. If I want to watch a movie I'm going to see it and nothing will ever stop me.
There was a time when the only movie reviews I ever paid any attention to were those of Roger Ebert. He's still the first review I look at when a movie comes out. Ebert loves (loved?) movies and I love movies. But lately Ebert has lost his reason. Perhaps he feels duty bound to fulfill some imaginary quota for bad reviews now that he has lost his partner Siskel. Siskel typically hated moves and Ebert liked them, that was the dynamic that made them so popular. Another possibility is that Ebert has seen so many movies that he can no longer watch a film with the same fresh enthusiasm as he did in the past. Whatever the reason, Ebert is losing my respect.
Listed below are some of the insane ratings that he has assigned movies this summer:
I haven't even seen Men in Black 2 yet and I am 100% positive it is a not a one and a half star movie! (Click here for my reviews of these films)
What I've noticed recently is that he seems to constantly nitpick and make ridiculous comparisons. He didn't like Men in Black 2 because it copied the same formula as the first film. So what! That's a good thing Ebert! That's why they say 'if it isn't broken, don't fix it'. If the first movie was perfect (and it was) then the sequel that replicates it's successful formula will in turn be equally perfect. Right?!
He didn't like Star Wars Episode 2 because the dialogue only "exists primarily to advance the plot, provide necessary information, and give a little screen time to continuing characters who are back for a new episode." I would seriously love to know if there is anybody else in the world who walked into Episode 2 with the expectation of great dialogue. If you want great dialogue go watch a David Mamet film! If you want to see Yoda fight in the greatest lightsaber battle of all time watch Episode 2.
And finally, he didn't like Spiderman because the action sequences were too cartoon-ish. This above all else proves to me that the cranky old man needs a nap.
I sincerely hope that someday soon, Ebert is able to recover from his current bout with bitterness. Until then dear readers, keep checking in with my reviews. I will remain 3rd row center with the same enthusiasm as always!
