Random Update Archive
7.8.08
The Guess Who Game
Which baby is Anika and Which baby is Sasha?
1.1.08
Anika's
Conception Announcement
Clip
Length = 1:06
Quicktime
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and select "save link as" or "save target as"
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I was loading the dishwasher tonight and Sasha was running around the house saying "Gimme Candy!" After Mommy didn't surrender to her sugary demands, she toddled into the kitchen to work on Daddy. The dishwasher was open so she grabbed a steak knife out of the utensil receptacle. So when I turned around to put the last items into the dishwasher, I see a two year old brandishing a 5 inch blade at me and saying "Gimme Candy Daddy!" I was able to disarm her before any real damage was done.
With Christmas fast approaching I decided that we would do some "Christmassy" stuff with Sasha to get her excited about the holiday. On November 17th we were driving to the Norfolk Grand Illumination Parade. That's the Festival where they light up all the buildings in Norfolk and Portsmouth with the holiday lighting and then have a huge parade. Before we got on the expressway, I crashed into a decorative boulder that had presumably fallen off the back of a landscaping truck. One of the front tires exploded and the rim was destroyed. Needless to say we didn't make it to the parade. So last Saturday I decided to take her to the Holiday Illumination Celebration at The Founder's Inn. We spent the day there watching Irish and Polynesian dancers and a marionette puppet show. We ate cotton candy and giant pretzels and popcorn. We watched kids get their faces painted. We got balloon animals from clowns and visited with Disney characters. Santa sang us songs from around the world and Sasha got to sit on his lap and make her official request for a Jack-in-the-box. We went on a horse drawn carriage ride around the grounds and watched the Grand Illumination when they turn the lights on all at one time. One of the last events of the evening was a reading of the Nativity story by Pat Robertson. The Founder's Inn is owned in part by The Christian Broadcasting Network and/or Regent University which is all headed by Pat Robertson. One of the CBN shows is the 700 club. The Christina Daily News show. Their cameras were there all day so I had a feeling we might show up if they ran a segment on the show. On Monday, November 26th, they did air a segment on this year's Illumination Celebration and there is footage of Alan and Sasha on their carriage ride and also being read to from the Bible by Pat Robertson. I don't know how long this link will be available but it can be seen here. If the tab for "shows" is selected then pick the episode for The 700 Club: November 26, 2007. If you can load this video on the 700 Club website and fast forward by sliding the little ball under the video window to about the 40 minute mark you will see the segment with Alan and Sasha. You only see our backs on the carriage ride, but during the profile shot of Pat Robertson, Alan and Sasha are right center screen (Alan keeps looking up at the ceiling for some reason.) The 700 Club is a internationally syndicated show and is broadcast just about everywhere on Earth.
03.14.07 
I've been really sick with the flu and a high fever all week. So I haven't been able to get near Sasha at all. No kisses or cuddling with Daddy. I'm probably more upset about this than Sasha, but I'm sure she'll be happy when we can start snuggling again. Anyway, over the last day or so Holly has started to show symptoms too. On the way home from school today, Holly told Sasha that "Daddy is still sick, and you won't be able to play with him until tomorrow." Then she said "I'm also starting to feel sick. Who will take care of Sasha if both Mommy and Daddy are sick?" Sasha thought for a minute, "ummmm, uhhhhhhh, hmmmm" she said.... and then she had her answer - "Oh! My Dentist!"
Let me start by saying, although this is a horrible admission of parental irresponsibility, that Sasha has watched many, many scary movies in her life so far. The First movie she ever saw, when she was 6 days old, was George Romero's Dawn of The Dead. Since then she's pretty much watched whatever I happen to be watching (although I did make sure she was not in the room when I watched Pink Flamingos again last year.) I assumed she really didn't know what was happening on screen, was too young to know that she was supposed to be scared of horror stuff, and usually didn't really pay close attention to anything anyway. These assumptions are apparently no longer true. Last Friday we had the neighbors over to watch a movie. We decided to watch the 2005 remake of War of the Worlds with Tom Cruise. I assumed this was a safe selection for their 12 year old daughter and I knew Sasha could watch it because the two of us had just watched it last summer together. So we're all sitting there and during the scenes when the lightening is striking everything, Sasha got out of her chair and crawled up in my lap. She didn't cuddle, she just sat kind of bolt upright and watched the screen. Moments later in the film, one of the alien tripods bursts up through the city street and starts attacking. The Tripods make this loud bass mooing sound and as soon as it started to break through the street and honked it's loud roar, Sasha leapt off my lap and went running across the room and up the stairs whimpering and crying. Holly went up and comforted her and read her some bedtime stories and put her to bed so all was well in the end, but I guess the era of age appropriate movies has, unfortunately, begun.
I was loading the dishwasher tonight and Sasha was running around the house saying "Gimme Candy!" After Mommy didn't surrender to her sugary demands, she toddled into the kitchen to work on Daddy. The dishwasher was open so she grabbed a steak knife out of the utensil receptacle. So when I turned around to put the last items into the dishwasher, I see a two year old brandishing a 5 inch blade at me and saying "Gimme Candy Daddy!" I was able to disarm her before any real damage was done.
08.01.06 
Sasha Loves to "dip" her food in condiments of any type but
her favorite, by far, is ketchup. She eats ketchup with dinner
almost every night and dips everything in it. Spaghetti,
peaches, bread, corn, green beans, fish, etc. Everything gets
dipped.
Some other updates that are not really first include: Sasha's favorite book for the moment is Green Eggs & Ham by Dr. Seuss. She insists Holly or I read it to her every night. She received a Laurie Berkner DVD of songs for her birthday and has now choreographed elaborate dance routines for most of the songs. These routines are then performed every single time the DVD is played. Sasha can also sing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star and her ABC's. Most of the words aren't there yet and the ABC song is more like the sounds of the letters rather than the letters themselves but she can identify the letters and she knows the tune to both songs so you can tell what she is singing. She's also very adept at matching games. She has a Sesame Street book where you find things on the page (Kind of like Where's Waldo) and she's able to find just about everything. I've tried it with other books too just to make sure it's not a memorization trick and she can usually find what I ask her to look for. It's neat.
04.05.06 
Sorry about the delay in getting pictures and updates posted during
the second half of March. I'm hard at work editing the hours and
hours of video that will soon be the Sasha
Year 2 DVD. I'm pushing for a Release Date sometime in
June but principal photography is still ongoing and the cut-off date
for that is not until the end of May.
03.03.06 ![]()
Sasha's newest thing, besides the animal
impressions, is a little game she has created called "Uh-Oh"
The way you play "Uh-Oh" is you do something to
precipitate an "accident" and then stand there innocently and point at
what you've done and say "Uh-Oh" as if it was an
uncontrollable act of nature.
For example you snatch Daddy's glasses off his face and throw them across the room. While you're doing this say "Uh-Oh" as if it was all a big mistake.
Or you swipe Mommy's wallet, empty everything out of it, throw the credit cards and other items onto the floor then take the cash and run as fast as you can into the other room, throw the money on the floor then point at it and call out "Uh-Oh!"
02.19.06 
Sasha has a new game called "Duck, Duck, Duck."
Basically she just pats you on the head and says "duck"
until she gets tired of it. The game can be played with one or
more people depending on who's within reach.
02.04.06![]()
I take Sasha with me pretty much everywhere I go (except to the
movies.) In stores she is always a big attention grabber.
Ever since she born, people of all sorts come up to look at her and
say how cute she is. When I say "people of all sorts"
I really mean it. Sasha is universally adored and not just by
women. I've had big burly biker / truck driver type guys come up
and baby talk to her. Kids of all ages, including sarcastic
moody teenagers, brighten up in her presence and are happy to have
seen her.
Admittedly, one of the things I like about lugging her around everywhere, is that people all seem to LOVE Sasha and since she's with me, I vicariously get some of her attention. I'm not exaggerating when I say this. Sasha has never heard an unkind word toward her or felt the hurt of a mean glance from someone until today.
I always bring Sasha on my cheap DVD buying expeditions to the local pawn shops in town. Most of the people who work at these places actually know her because she's with me all the time. When she was little I used to just hold her as I perused the movies. Now that she's older she likes to be put down so she can explore a little. She usually just stands in front of me holding onto my pant leg and fiddling with the DVD's on the bottom rows.
Today we were looking at movies, and although I was to her left, Sasha reached up with her right hand and accidentally grabbed the pant leg of this guy who was standing next to me. I assumed he would react as the countless hundreds we've encountered in the past. When Sasha looked up at him with her big baby eyelashes and adorable little piggy tails this guy just looked down at her like she was annoying him. Then he looked at me like "would you get this thing away from me?"
I was so shocked by his reaction I didn't know what to do. I said "No, no Sasha, I'm over here," smiled at the guy and pulled Sasha over to the other side of me. I don't think Sasha noticed anything had happened because she immediately set to the task of removing DVDs from the shelf I put her in front of. But for the rest of the day the encounter stuck in my mind. What the Hell was this guy's problem? What a jerk!
So anyway, apparently Sasha has made her first enemy.
09.13.05
I'm so bad at the written part of this history. The photo record
is pretty comprehensive but I never remember to update this
section. Actually I've been slacking like crazy on the whole
website. I haven't written a movie review all
summer.
It's really Sasha's fault. I can't just sit her on my lap and work on the computer anymore. I can't even put her down next to me to play because she's all over the place now. She can toddle away in the blink of an eye and be halfway up the stairs before you turn around.
It's great really. We can finally PLAY together. We can build towers with blocks or color with crayons. We can read books and play with all my old Fisher Price people that I've been saving since I was a kid. We can go on bike rides or play at the park. And I mean really play. We used to go to the park and I would carry her around or push her in the stroller to the swings but now I can just put her down and she'll tear off right over to whatever she wants to play with or on. We can chase each other around and she can actually run. It's so cool.
She can give perfect kisses now too. She'll come up to you press her lips against your cheek and make a big smacking kissy sound. When I carry her she wraps her little arms around my neck and hugs me. Sometimes she'll run across the room, stick her head between my knees and try to wedge her way through to the other side like I'm a human tunnel.
She babbles all the
time. She can say "kitty" but right now it seems to
apply to all animals and some inanimate objects. My favorite
thing she says is when I walk into the room, she gets a big smile on
her face, her eyes light up and she says, "Hi
daddy!"
I LOVE THAT.
There's so many new things every day. It's really impossible to document all of them. I don't remember what it was like myself but imagine what it would be like if everything was new to you. Every taste, sight, smell, touch and sound. I forget about that sometimes. Even the stuff that we take for granted is new to a baby. She ate her first slice of pizza today and loved it. I love pizza too but I don't remember my first slice. It must have been wonderful!
Anyway, I'll try to keep this journal up to date better but I've never been good at keeping a chronicle. I'm pretty good at keeping the photo record so we'll have to just accept these written updates, more or less, as a supplement to the photo archive.
08.17.05
We're all unpacked now and moved into our new house. You've
probably seen much of the new place from the last few picture
series. Sasha has her own room and even Alan has a work-room all
to himself that he has decorated like a teenager. Lots of
developmental stuff has happened over the last month but I've been too
busy with the vacation up to Michigan and the move to document it
all.
Sasha has enough teeth now that she can pretty much eat whatever we're eating. She can not only walk now but she can run. Fast. Her favorite thing to do is to swipe something out of my work room and when I say "No" she runs top speed down the hall into the master bedroom and around the corner to hide. Her theory apparently is "if he can't see me then it's OK to play with this power drill."
08.06.05
Sasha's Growing!
She had her 1 year check up and she's doing fine. She's not
gaining a lot of weight, but Dr. Kevorkian says she's just burning off
a lot of calories now that she can walk and run. See Sasha Run,
Run Sasha Run!
07.30.05 ![]()
Sasha's 1 year old today! Lots of new pictures are on the way!
06.17.05![]()
Sasha's toddling! She walks a few steps from one thing or person to
another but only when she doesn't really realize she's doing it.
If you try to make her do it she just falls forward or on her
butt. She can also walk while only holding onto one hand now so
that's a big new thing too! At this rate she'll probably be up
and about by the middle of next month just before her first
birthday. Which is good because I was gonna have to return her
to the hospital as defective if she couldn't walk by age 1.
06.07.05
Sasha can almost walk! She can take 1-3 steps to get from one
obstacle to the next. She can't reverse course or just stand up
and start walking but she can pull herself up on something and then
move around from there. She's also starting to climb.
Yesterday she was standing on the tray of her feeding seat to get a
better look at what was on top of a dresser.
06.05.05 ![]()
Sasha spends her first day at the beach. We drove down to Cape
Hatteras for the afternoon. We decided before we went that Sasha
would need one of those baby beach tents to protect her from the
sun. I went out on Saturday to buy one but they all seemed so
junky. Like more for play than real use. So as I was
leaving Target I saw this small pink dome tent. So I figured,
for a few dollars more, I might as well just get her a real tent
that she could use in the house, at the beach and in the back yard of
the new house. Well I got home and set it up and it was
HUGE! I thought it was just gonna be a small little pup tent and
it ended up being this giant 3 man sleeper. The whole family can
fit in there and there's no way we can set it up for play in the
house. It's just too big. But it sets up easy and ended up
working fine at the beach. You can see it in the pictures.
We had a great day at the beach. Sasha got to play in the waves,
I got to go surfing and Holly got to read and sit in the
sun.
06.03.05

Sorry about the lack of photos and updates but I've been working on
Sasha's DVD for the last week and a half. Sasha: Year 1.
It took quite a while to sift through all the video footage from the
last 9 months (about 15 hours worth) and edit it down to a 50 minute
movie that people might want to sit through. Then to use up the
extra space on the DVD I added 4 slide shows that cover the last 9
months as well. The movies and slide shows were edited together
and then music soundtracks were added to enhance the viewing
experience. The pictures were all taken by me and Holly and a
few by Holly's dad. The video was pulled from low-res footage
that I shot with my Kodak digital still camera (the clips you see on
this website) as well as footage that I shot with my old Sony Hi 8mm
video camera and a little bit of new footage shot with my new Canon
Elura 85 digital video camera. It was all edited together using
Sonic MyDVD software. A few people will receive advanced copies
in the mail this week and I'll have more copies available for friends
and family as we see you later in the year.
05.25.05![]()
Sasha can now wave and say "Hi". It's exciting because
she seems to actually know what she's doing. It's not just a
random sound and gesture. I'll shoot some video of it this
weekend. She can also distinguish between Holly and me and calls
us "Mama" "Mom" Mommy" and "Dada"
"Daddy."
5.20.05 ![]()
Question: Who's Watching the Baby?
Answer: Apparently Nobody.
While Holly was taking a shower today she told me to keep an eye on
Sasha. I was working on the computer and assumed she was in the
living room watching cartoons. A few minutes later she comes
crawling into the computer room with a mouth and two fists full of cat
food. I scoop as much out of her mouth as I can with my finger
and knock the rest out of her hands. Then I followed the trail
of cat food into the kitchen where I found Mishka's food and water
bowls both tipped over and scattered all over the floor.
We knew that one day she would probably reject our vegetarian
upbringing but we assumed it would be much later in life and that her
first choice of meat would be something more appetizing than horse,
rat meat or whatever it is they feed cats these days.
5.13.05 ![]()
Here's a funny story. Sasha always attracts adoring crowds of
people to her when we take her out in public. I suppose all
babies probably do, but here's an example of Sasha's cuteness.
She has a little
turtle toy that she brings to play with when we go out to
eat. Holly wanted to go to P.F. Changs for Mother's Day dinner
on Monday (less crowds the day after Mother's Day.) We don't
usually go there (we went once before) because it's too expensive, the
waiting time for a table is insane and it's a chain restaurant but
this was a special occasion. So we went and had dinner.
Then on Friday we decided to go out for lunch. When I went to
get the turtle, I couldn't find it. After we looked everywhere,
we decided it must have been left at P.F. Changs on Monday. So
we drove over there after lunch and Holly ran in to see if someone had
turned it in. She walked in, on a busy Friday evening, and said;
"This is gonna sound stupid and I'm sorry to bother you when
you're so busy but we were here on Monday for dinner and..."
then hostess interrupted her and said "You're here for
Sasha's turtle!" She then produced the turtle from
behind the counter and handed it to Holly. I don't even remember
telling anyone her name but she must have made an impression with the
staff.
5.10.05
Not much news to report since Sasha was sick. The day after the
hospital the fever broke and she got a little rash on her chest and
back, then that dissipated by the following day and it was all
over.
Probably the biggest news now is that our search for Sasha's New House is over and we finally found something we liked in a good area that we can kind of afford. So pretty soon Sasha will have her own room and a little yard to play in. Hurray!
4.27.05
Sasha is sick! I was hoping to make it a year without her
getting sick but one of the germ encrusted kids at the mall must have
licked her or something last week. She started to have a fever
on Monday afternoon 102-103o. We called the doctor
but couldn't get through before the office closed. The next
morning, yesterday, it was down to 101o but then at 3:30pm
it shot up to 104o so we called the doctor again and they
told us to take her to the ER at the Children's Hospital in
Norfolk. She doesn't really have any other symptoms. She's
not really sick. She's kinda tired but other than that she's
been eating, playing, singing and crawling around like normal.
So we took her to the hospital. They admitted her and her
temperature had moved up to about 104.7o , then we sat in
the waiting room for like 4 hours. They were able to check her
out at about 7:30pm but besides the fever they couldn't find anything
wrong with her. She was happy and playing in the emergency
room. She really liked her hospital gown (see above). They
said it may be a virus that just hasn't displayed any other symptoms
yet so they sent us home and told us to follow up with our
doctor. We'll be doing that later today.
At the hospital Sasha was obsessed with peeling the "Hello My Name Is" sticker that they make you wear in the ER off my shirt. At some point after we got home she got a hold of it and while I was feeding her dinner I found what was left of it in her mouth. About 1/2 of it had already been consumed.
4.20.05
Sasha can stand by herself now. It's cool. She falls down
when she tries to walk anywhere. I expect she'll be walking in
the next few weeks. Hurray!
4.15.05
I do this all the time but today it started working really well:
Sasha's usually really chatty when she wakes up in the morning so
today when I said "Hi" to her she said "Hi"
back! So then I said "Hi Daddy" and she said it right
back and has been repeating it all morning! It's so cool!
"Hi Daddy" "Hi Daddy" "Hi Daddy"
"Hi Daddy"
4.13.05
Well, that was a long stretch with no updates. It's the end of
the semester and Holly is pretty much using the computer all the time
in the evening so I haven't had a chance to do any updates. Also
Sasha can't fall asleep unless someone is in bed cuddling her so with
Holly doing work I've been on cuddling duty so I've been going to
sleep earlier. Sasha's cruising is getting more complex.
She can take a step from one thing to another across open space now if
she has to. She can also stand on her own without holding
anything for a few seconds until she realizes she's doing it, then she
falls. Some of the cuter new things are a little noise she makes
when she yawns and she babbles in sentences and does something that
sounds like singing too. I got my new digital video camera today
so the Sasha Kai Motion Picture Studio will soon be in
production.
3.28.05
Sasha is cruising like crazy. "Cruising" is when
babies walk around the room by holding onto things like couches,
chairs and tables. She crawls so fast now, she is gone if you
just turn around. Her hair is getting longer but it's still not
long enough for me to put in a little Pebbles tail off the top of her
head or the little piggy tails on the sides that I so desperately want
her to wear. The weather is getting much better and the buds are
coming out on the trees. It's about time! Spring is almost
a month late this year!
3.27.05
The visit with Grandma & Grandpa was a complete success! We
watched movies ( Best
in Show & A
Mighty Wind) and drove back and forth over the Chesapeake Bay
Bridge Tunnel after watching a documentary about how it was
built. We ate at Hot Tuna, and a neat little place on the
Eastern Shore then hung out at another beachfront hotel.
We couldn't get into the pool this time though because there were too
many kids! Before we took Grandma and Grandpa to the airport we
showed then Sashi's play ground at Trashmore.
3.25.05
Grandma & Grandpa Wiseman arrived last night. Today they
went with Alan and Sasha to look at a townhouse and later today, after
dinner, Sasha will get to go swimming again and play in another hotel
room down at the beach!
3.20.05
I'm failing miserably at updating this on a regular basis. The
weather here was crazy this week. It was cold and rainy and then
today it was warm and sunny. Sasha and I went to Trashmore and
played for about 2 hours and watched the skaters and ramp
bikers. Karen and Carol from my team at work came for a visit
but were here on what may have been some of the worst days of the
entire year. We went out for dinner with Sasha on Thursday at Mahi
Mah's down at the beach. I feel bad because the day they
left it was sunny and then the weekend was nice and warm. We
didn't even wear coats today! Sasha is now able to crawl with
startling speed and efficiency. If you turn your back on her she
will be in the next room in a matter of seconds. She has a
pretty big vocabulary of baby talk now. Mama, Dada, and Baba are
the main ones. We're trying to teach her "kitty" when
she sees Mishka but all she can say is something like "kiki."
She's eating stage 2 foods now but we haven't started her on any
solids. She only has the nubs of her two front bottom teeth so
she wouldn't really be able to chew anything yet. I know other
people tell me to give her Cheerios and stuff but I'm scared she'll
choke.
3.13.05
Well this was a big weekend for Sasha. Grandma and Grandpa
Fisher came to visit and on Sunday Sashi went swimming for the first
time! That morning Sasha and I went to buy her a swim suit and
some swim diapers and when we got down to the beach I also bought her
a little inflatable ring to float around in. She loved the
pool! I pulled her around in the water and she floated in the
ring while Mommy, Daddy, Grandpa and Grandma bopped her around the
pool.
Another fun thing is that Sasha can give kisses now. She's done it before but it was never consistent. She now applies the technique from the nose beep game and leans in and touches her mouth to you when you make a kissy noise. She can't do the kissy lips yet but it's like a nuzzle-kiss which is good enough for now!
3.11.05
Sasha and Holly spend the day down at the ocean front in Grandma and
Grandpa's fancy hot tub hotel room.
3.10.05
Grandma and Grandpa Fisher have come to visit Sasha!
3.7.05
The weather was like summer here today so we all went to the park
after work. Hurray!
3.6.05
I taught Sasha this trick where you point your finger at her nose and
she leans in and pokes her nose to the finger and then you have to say
"beep."
3.5.05
Now that Sasha can crawl she's starting to pull herself up to a
standing position so I had to lower the base of her crib all the way
down. Now if she pulls herself up on the rail she can't throw
herself over the edge. She has no concept of falling yet.
She took a header off my office chair last week and she is constantly
trying to throw herself off the bed when we play steamroller.
3.4.05
Sasha can now crawl everywhere. She is in constant motion.
Sorry about the lack of updates over the last week. I was moving
the whole website to a new host and it literally took a week of
downloading and uploading to do it. The big news this week
though is the crawling. She can also say "Daddy" now
as well as "Dada" but she still doesn't really know what
she's saying.
3.1.05
New
Monthly Photo Caption Contest for March!
The Sasha Kai Monthly Photo Caption Contest! Lets All make Fun of My
Baby!
2.26.05
Well I'm already falling behind with my updates. One of Sasha's
accomplishments this week is that she is now obsessed with making
raspberry sounds. She does it all day long. It's
funny. She's like that orangutan in Every Which Way But
Loose. She also babbles all day now. It's like she's
carrying on a non-stop monologue of baby talk. Her new tooth
doesn't seem to be bothering her but it hurts a little when she bites
me and Holly. I used to like it when she chewed on my fingers
but now I gotta worry about that little chomper. Her crawling is
really getting better. You can put her down in one place and a
few minutes later she will have crawled, squirmed, pushed and rolled 5
feet in any direction. So gone are the days when we could leave
her unattended for a minute. She's starting to get into
everything now. We'll have to baby-proof soon.
2.18.05
I had the day off so Sashi and I went on a "mystery trip" to
a mall play-land that she'd never been to before. She loves
playing with all the other kids. And since kids are
fascinated by babies Sasha is always the star of the show. She
just kind of sits on a toy and holds court while all the other
children gather around and adore her. I'll get the pictures
posted in the next day or so.
![]() |
The
Sasha Kai: Year 3 DVD Is Now Available! |
![]() |
Release Date: 07/07/07
The Movie Event of the Summer!
Praise
and Scorn for
Sasha
Kai: Year 3 DVD
“After seeing
an absolute masterpiece like Sasha
Kai: Year 3
it makes me embarrassed to call myself a film maker.”
- Steven Spielberg
"Set your
TIVO’s to stunned!"
- TV Guide
“Spartans,
tonight, we dine in hell!
But first you gotta see this DVD.
It flippin’ Rocks!”
- King Leonidas
"Pretty
colors!"
- USA Today
“The peace
and beauty of this infidel spawn makes me wish I had a nuclear
enrichment program that I could suspend development of….
but I don’t. Really.
I’m serious.”
- Iranian President Mahmoud
Ahmadinejad
“I have seen
the future of entertainment, and her name is Sasha Kai.”
(paraphrased from Quatrain # 736)
- Nostradamus
“I’ll tell
you what’s scary! That girl’s talent!
Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha! I’m
hilarious!”
- Stephen King
“I’ve been
saying it for years and years….The Sasha
Kai: Year 3 DVD is,
without a doubt, one of the greatest DVD’s ever.”
- Alex Jones
“We, and
therefore the democratic party and liberals everywhere,
give this movie our seal of approval.”
- The New York Times
“Why does
this stupid little girl, who seems to be famous
for no apparent reason, get so much exposure?”
- Paris Hilton
“I saw a
scene where’s she’s holding an
American flag, that means it’s good, right?
- Sean Hannity Fox News
“Meesa
thinkin itsa be needin a muy muy
funny digital sidekicken character.”
- George Lucas
See the
Teaser Preview Trailers for
Sasha Kai: Year 3
Warning!
These are huge files. Not like the little clips I usually have on
my website.
You Must have Quicktime to view the clips.
Be Sure
to Turn Up the
Volume on Your
Speakers First
The Sound is Part of the Show!
Sasha Kai Year 3 "Tarantino" Teaser Trailer 3 (30+ MB)
Sasha Kai Year 3 "Hi Everybody" Teaser Trailer 2 (16+ MB)
Sasha Kai: Year 3 "Event" Teaser Trailer 1 (52+ MB)
![]() |
The
Sasha Kai: Year 2 DVD Is Now Available! |
![]() |
Release Date: 06/12/06
The Movie Event of the Summer!
Praise
and Scorn for
Sasha
Kai: Year 2 DVD
"Wow, here's an example of someone who completely misunderstood
the cautionary message of The Truman Show"
- Village Voice
"Fascinating, Absolutely Fascinating"
- Stephen Hawking
"Riveting. Almost makes you forget about Global Warming
for a couple hours"
- Al Gore
“Citizen Kane, The Godfather,
Sasha Kai: Year 2”
- New York Post
"This little girl is ugly and I hate her"
- Ann Coulter
"The Most Anticipated Movie
of the Year."
- Variety
"And in the year two thousand and six,
a disc will chronicle the
second age
of a beautiful girl-child,
and it will be awesome!"
- Nostradamus
"My second favorite movie of the year,
after The DaVinci
Code"
- Pope Benedict XVI
"This is the King of DVDs!"
- James Cameron
"Only Democrats would love their child this much"
- Bill O'Reilly
"The feel-good DVD of the year!"
- Los Angeles Times
"What summer movies are all about!
It's bigger, better and badder!
Makes that Year 1 DVD look like Kid's Stuff."
- Newsweek
"If she was a couple years older, I'd marry her!"
- Tom Cruise
"Gripping, Not for the faint of heart"
- USA Today
"First-rate edge-of-your-seat family fun loaded with suspense,
whiz-bang action and non-stop excitement"
- Fox News
"I'm not sure what the message was. Is the baby a Democrat?"
- Michael Moore
"As with most sequels,
this Year 2 DVD is more quantity than quality."
- Chicago Sun Times
“A Once in a
Lifetime DVD Watching Experience”
- The New York Times
“It was like
I was there, pushing her on that little swing.”
-Mr.
T
"Another Left Wing Liberal Love-Fest"
- Rush Limbaugh
"The Home Movie Event of
2006."
- TV Guide
"That Baby's
Bankable"
- Wall Street Journal
"Best Soundtrack
Ever"
- Rolling Stone
2.16.05
Sasha's first tooth pops through! It's one of the bottom front
teeth. Actually both are coming through at the same time.
I ran up to the drug store after work to get her some baby-anbesol to
help with the pain. She's been up all night for the last couple
days and now we know why. Hurray!
2.16.05
Sasha getting really good at reverse-crawling. She can push
herself backwards all over the floor now.
2.14.05
Sasha's First Valentines Day! She has a present for her Mommy
that she picked out herself!
2/14/05
Happy
Valentines Day!



,Love Sasha
2.13.05
Today we didn't do much. Just hung out around the house.
Holly had school work and I was working a weekend shift. Sasha
played around the house all day, worked on her crawling, and then we
all went out for ice cream at Dairy Queen! Later in the evening
Sasha gave me my Valentines Day present and card!
2.12.05
I gave Holly her Valentines Day gift from me. It's a picture
frame with a bunch of the best pictures of her and Sashi in
it.
2.9.05
Sasha can get up on all 4's into a crawling position and rock back and
forth now. She'll be off and crawling any time now! She's
also getting pretty good at cruising (holding onto things like chairs
tables and walking around.) See this week's pictures.
2.8.05
Sasha and Holly went to play at the mall again today. She laughs
at the older kids as they run around and play. She can almost
crawl now. I like to put her on one side of the sofa at my feet
and she rolls and climbs and crawls her way up toward my head at the
other end. I also do this thing called "beauty
shop" where I sit her on the couch and lay my head in her
lap and she plays and pulls on my hair.
2.7.05
Sasha can kind of self-feed with a bottle now. At one point
today I put a little water in the bottle and she grabbed it out of my
hands so I just let her try to do it herself and she did. I
guess she's on her own now.
2.6.05
Sasha went Valentines Day shopping with me today to get presents for
her Mommy. She even picked one out herself when I let her
stroller linger by a display in Kohl's for too
long.
2.5.05
Today Sasha witnessed her first Polar Plunge down at the
Ocean. Thousands of crazy people dressed up in costumes gather
pledges and then run screaming into the freezing cold water all at
once for charity. I'll have some pictures posted in the next
week or so.
2.4.05
Sasha had carrot baby food for the first time today. She liked
it. She seems to like orange food the best. Her previous
favorite was Sweet Potatoes.
2.3.05
Sasha's been saying "Dada" all day. Holly and Sasha
went to the play area at the mall today and Sashi made friends with a
two year old boy who invited her back to his hotel room for a dip in
the pool and to watch pay per view. It would have been her first
date! Kids are just growing up so fast these days.
2.2.05
Rise and shine campers, and don't forget your booties 'cause it's cooooold out there today. It's Groundhog Day!
Well the bad news (for those up in the North) is that Sasha did see
her shadow today. So you can all expect 6 more weeks of winter
(for the people in Michigan, amend that to almost 6 more
months.) I suppose it's not really fair because it's always
sunny here in Virginia Beach and Spring is just a couple weeks away!
2.1.05
New
Monthly Photo Caption Contest for February!
The Sasha Kai Monthly Photo Caption Contest! Lets All make Fun of My
Baby!
Sasha had her 6 month check up today. All is well and she's super-tall for her age! Click here to see how much she's grown. She got a record FIVE shots today, including the much sought after Flu vaccine. So at the very least Sasha will survive this flu season even if her parents don't. Her legs are now covered in cute little band-aids and she's dosing the baby Tylenol every 4 hours or so.
1.31.05
Today we took some
pictures of Sasha with her 6 Month birthday cake. (We were gonna
do it yesterday but she has a cuter dress on today.) I rolled
around on the bed and on the couch with her so she could practice
crawling, sitting up and turning over. She also ate banana baby
food for the second time and this time she liked it! Her
favorite is still sweet potatoes but for now bananas seem to be her
second favorite. The rice cereal gruel is still tolerated but
has never been a favorite.
1.25.05
New Years Resolution: After Sasha's big Six Month
Birthday on January 30th, I will be posting lots more updates here
that will become more of a daily journal of Sasha's adventures.
I regret not having done this from the beginning. So much has
already been lost and forgotten. I hope my meager
photographic offerings provided ample evidence of the last six
months.
12.21.04 
Hey Michigan! You better watch out, you better not cry, you
better not pout I'm telling you why.....Sasha Kai is coming to town!
12.1.04
New
Monthly Photo Caption Contest for December!
The Sasha Kai Monthly Photo Caption Contest! Lets All make Fun of My
Baby!
11.30.04
Sasha's 4 Months Old Today!
Click here to see how much
she's grown.
(Her
height is in the 90th Percentile and Weight in the 70th)
11.16.04
The Presents
for Sasha Gift Registry is now available for all your Sasha gift
buying questions.
11.1.04
New
Monthly Photo Caption Contest for November!
The Sasha Kai Monthly Photo Caption Contest! Lets All make Fun of My
Baby!
10.30.4
Sasha's 3 Months Old Today!
11.1.04
New
Monthly Photo Caption Contest for October!
The Sasha Kai Monthly Photo Caption Contest! Lets All make Fun of My
Baby!
9.13.4
New
Sasha's World
Contest!
The Sasha Kai Monthly Photo Caption Contest! Lets All make Fun of My
Baby!
9.30.4
Sasha's
2 Months Old Today!
8.30.4
Sashi's 1 Month Old
Today! Hurray! Hurray!
8.15.4
Sasha's
World Update. You've
seen the photos.
Now read the exciting and fascinating detailed account of the actual birth
of Sasha Kai !
7/30/04 Sasha Kai: Life on "The Outside"
Sasha was born today. My baby girl. My sweet little daughter. If I don't count the time when I got my picture taken next to the Oscar Mayer "Wienermobile", then this can truly be called the proudest moment of my life.

The actual birth of a child is nothing like what you see in the cartoons. And no matter how many books you read you are never really prepared. At the time I was reading the 1950's Sci-Fi Classic Starship Troopers by Robert Heinlein and it offered little to no advice.
The day started like any other, with Holly waking me up at 6am complaining about terrible contractions and labor pains. We both felt sure that this was "false labor" or what the medical texts refer to as "Not Real Labor." We came to this assumption because about 48 hours earlier the doctor at Holly's weekly check-up told us that Sasha had not dropped yet and Holly had not even begun the pre-birth stages. He scheduled us for a test the following Thursday to assess whether induction or C-Section would be required. Based on this information I went ahead and made dinner reservations at Holly's favorite Italian restaurant for our 10th Anniversary on Friday.
The fake contractions continued through the morning but we tried to ignore them. I got out of bed at 8am and logged into the computer for work. After about an hour we decided to time the contractions and see how close and long they were. We clocked for an hour and they were pretty much 5-6 minutes apart and about a minute long. So we called the doctor and they told us that it was time to go to the hospital.
There was a whole list of things that we needed to have done and packed in advance before we left for the hospital. On the morning of the 30th, we had about half of the list complete. So for the next hour, as Holly tried to get dressed I ran around and packed stuff. Then we hopped in the car.
We stopped at 7-11. Holly was told to eat something on the way to the hospital because once you are there they will not feed you until after the baby comes. She wanted a Gatorade and a couple Powerbars. As she sat in the car contracting, I ran in to buy the stuff. I get to the energy bar section and they're out of Powerbars. I run out to the car and tell Holly. She says just get any yogurt fruit bar they have. I run back in. They have no yogurt fruit bars. I run back out to Holly. She says something like " Just get me something that looks good! I'm having a freakin' baby here!" So I grabbed a few bars and a couple Gatorades and we were off to Chesapeake General Hospital.
We got to the hospital and rushed up to the delivery floor as we were instructed in our parenting classes and tours. They didn't have a room immediately available but they were cleaning one up and it would be ready in a few minutes. We sat in the waiting room and watched part of an episode of Full House. It was the one where Jesse (John Stamos) is having trouble because his girlfriend makes all the decisions in their relationship. Also Danny (Bob Saget) is frustrated because oldest daughter D.J. won't stop talking to her friends on the phone. We didn't see how it ended but I made a mental note to get Sasha her own phone line as the episode suggested. Who would have guessed that Full House would provide my first tip on being a parent? I always assumed it would have been The Cosby Show.
They showed us to our "birthing suite" and we settled in for The Miracle of Birth. They attached Holly and the baby to the little machine that goes "ping!" and we were on our way. Holly immediately asked for as many drugs as State laws would allow. Unfortunately she had not yet achieved the point in labor where drugs could be administered. So we just waited. Holly contracted and I read Entertainment Weekly and watched the 1979 O.J. Simpson action film "Firepower."
Finally Holly had dilated to 4 cm and they gave her an injection of pain killers. They compare the effect of the drugs to drinking a 6 pack of beer. Lucky for me Holly's not an "angry drunk." If someone is having terribly painful contractions, giving them a drug that releases inhibitions might not always be the best idea. But Holly has always been a goofy babbling drunk so it was nice to see her relaxed and yammering gibberish like in our old M.S.U. bar hopping days. After a little while she kind of passed out.
It was now about 2pm and I was starving. I hadn't eaten yet for the day so I asked the nurse if there was time for me to duck out and get lunch. I left Holly in her pregnant drunken stupor and drove over to Zero's (My favorite sub shop.) I quickly munched down a 12 inch sub and an order of curly fries in about 5 minutes. As I was half way through the sub I started to feel like I was gonna miss the delivery so I ate faster. The people in the restaurant must have thought I was insane.
I got back to the hospital and Holly was still passed out. The doctors came and checked her again and she had made no progress. They decided to manually break her water. Once this was done they attached a fetal monitor to Sasha. Unfortunately, for the next hour as Holly had contractions, Sasha's heart rate would dip.
Just before 5pm Holly sent me out to ask for more "Happy Drugs." I met the nurse and the doctors who were on their way to our room. They had decided that, based on the fetal heart rate, the baby was in distress and a C-Section would be necessary.
Now, Holly had always wanted a C-Section to begin with. She had never wanted to go though the painful horror of regular childbirth. So aside from little Sasha being in distress, things were going as hoped. They took Holly away and prepped her for surgery. They gave me the full body space suit that you can see in the pictures and told me to put it on and wait. So I waited. And waited. I stepped out in the hall a few times to see if they had forgotten me. I had a little kid who was walking by take my picture in the space suit. I thought about what would happen if I was mistaken for a doctor and told I was needed in surgery. I decided that I would fake my way through the operation. Finally the nurse came and took me into the operating room. The anesthesiologist looked at me and told the nurse that he needed the doctor, not the husband. I had come this close to performing my first C-Section.
They sent me back for a few minutes. I had just enough time to finish my 7-11 Alan's Special Blend Slurpie that they said I had to leave behind in the room. The Alan's Special Blend Slurpie consists of red, blue, and purple Slurpie mixed together in layers with just a touch of Mountain Dew on top. It's delicious and very refreshing!
When all was ready they called me back in. There was a stool placed by Holly's head. The anesthesiologist told me to stay there near him and Holly because in addition to tending to Holly he would also be assisting me in case I fainted. I told him there would be no fainting. For I had just recently watched the "chest burst" scene in Alien and felt sufficiently prepared for the experience.
If you've never seen one, an operation is a very rapid thing. It goes by super fast and is so harsh and violent looking it's hard to believe that any good can come of it. They took a scalpel and sliced Holly's belly open. Then they took a little laser beam and started cutting through all the fat and muscle. When they encountered things (organs and such) that were in the way they simply pulled them out and set them on Holly's chest. Within seconds Sasha's head popped out of the huge gory chasm that was Holly's abdomen. Just like the scene in Alien! The umbilical cord was wrapped twice around her neck. That was what was causing the heart rate to drop when Holly would have a contraction. The doctor uncoiled the cord and dangled Sasha upside down over Holly. Then he cut the cord and handed her off to the two nurses who were waiting with an open blanket. It was about 5:30pm at this point.
I stayed to watch the after birth. The placenta is much bigger than I thought it would be and kind of looks like a giant gooey slug. As there was nothing more to see here, I decided to go watch Sasha.
She hadn't really made a sound yet. Not during the birth or the part afterwards where they rough her up with the towels and clean the gook off her. She was calm one moment and agitated the next. She looked like she was crying but no sound came out. They said this was probably because of the cord being wrapped around her neck. After a few minutes she started to bleat a little but was pretty quiet throughout the whole measurement and cleaning part of the show. I took pictures non-stop. Then they wrapped her up and handed her to me and I was able to take her over to where they were putting Holly back together so she could see her. Holly was pretty out of it so I accompanied Sasha and the nurse to the 4th floor baby aquarium.
The baby aquarium is the hospital nursery that you see on TV and in movies where people can come up to the glass and see the babies. Sasha got the bed by the first window and the larger reviewing window. So she was basically the star of the nursery. Like first chair in an orchestra. Then she got her first bath. She didn't seem to like it and was very cold and shivering. The nurse then dried her and put her back in the cradle.
They attached a heart monitor and stuck her under a heat lamp like the ones that keep the fries warm at Burger King. I just sat with her and snapped about 100 pictures. Then I remembered that the last time I saw Holly she was laying in the operating room downstairs with her guts splayed open. So I left Sasha and went to see how she was doing in recovery.
Holly was awake and dazed in the recovery room. I told her about the birth and all that had transpired since. I told her Sasha was perfect and all was well. Then I mentioned to the nurse that Holly had to be ready to go in about 30 minutes because we had dinner reservations for our 10th anniversary and I had a special present for her. The nurse suggested I give her the present here so she could enjoy the moment as well. So I presented Holly the anniversary ring I had bought for her. It has three little diamonds that are supposed to represent our past , present and future. Now I don't like to have the symbolic meaning of inanimate objects thrust upon me so I decided to tell her that the stones represent Holly, Alan and Sasha. Our new happy little family that began on our 10th anniversary.
After the presentation of the ring I started to miss Sasha so I left Holly and went back up to the baby aquarium. They said Holly would be moved to her room in about 30 minutes. I sat in the nursery and poked Sasha and took pictures of her and called people for about an hour and a half. Then I went down to see why Holly had not been brought up yet. They said she was on her way but I couldn't see her because I had stripped off my space suit. So I went back up to Sasha. Finally they wheeled Holly in her bed past the large aquarium review window so she could see me and Sasha in the nursery. I gathered my things and helped Holly get situated in the room.
Soon they brought Sasha in to meet her mom for what was essentially the first time. Holly started feeding her. We all sat together for a while and got to know each other. Soon Holly and Sasha got tired and I was pretty tired too. It had been kind of a busy day. So Sasha went back to the baby aquarium for the night, I tucked Holly in, went down to peak at Sasha one more time and then drove home. When I got home I made some dinner and spent a couple hours putting the first day pictures up on the website so Holly's family could see her before they left for Copper Harbor the next morning.
I was very excited and exhausted at the same time. Sasha was finally here. She was perfectly healthy and born on July 30th. The best anniversary present ever.
Sasha's Before I Was Born Journal
4.6.7

2.23.7
2.14.7
Happy Valentine's
Day!

1.6.7
Alan's
New Updated Favorite Movies of 2006
(Updated 01/22/07)
I recently decided that I couldn't fit all the movies I liked for the year onto a Top 10 List so the Year End List will now just be my "Favorites" List. It has been revised to include ALL of my favorite movies for 2006.
12.25.6
12.1.6
Alan's
Top 10
Favorite Movies
of 2006
(So far)
(Updated 12/11/06)

11.13.6
Holly, Sasha &
Alan's
Christmas
Wish List

Last Updated 11/26/06
11.29.6
BIG
NEWS!
If
you thought Alan used to watch too much TV and movies,
just look at what he has now!

Here's my new 133 x 96 inch TV! It fills up
the entire wall of my living room.
I could make it even bigger if I had a larger viewing surface
but for now I'll just have to cope with the limitations of my little
house.
Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!
9.4.6

Steve Erwin
"The Crocodile Hunter"
1962 - 2006
8.7.6
A reverse sequentiallity occurred twice today. At 5:43:21 it was
8:7:6:5:4:3:2:1. Isn't that exciting!? So remember where were
you when it happened. That's a story your kids will enjoy to hear
and your family can re-tell for generations to come!
7.26.6
Sorry about the lack of updates for the last couple weeks. Numerous
problems including Viruses, complete system rebuilds, and a still unknown
uploading issue have slowed progress here at Projectalan. We're back
up and limping along but still not at 100%.
6.6.6
The Day of Our Dark Lord has Arrived at
Last! Yippie!
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"This calls for wisdom: let him who has understanding reckon the number of the beast, for it is a human number, its number is six hundred and sixty-six."
Revelation 13:18
4.6.6

It's Alan's Birthday!
Presents
for Alan?
4.5.6
If you're a fan of this website then you may have noticed Alan's
child-like sense of wonder at the sequential ordering of dates.
Nothing thrills him more than to look at his calendar and giggle with glee
when he sees that today is 04/05/06. But wait! There's
More! This year we have a super sequential phenomena that may
cause Alan to actually wet himself. At exactly 3 seconds after 1:02
AM (or PM for you late sleepers) the time and date today will actually be 01:02:03
04/05/06!
3.2.6

Alan's
Oscar Predictions / Final Results
2.14.6
Happy Valentines Day
2.2.6
"This is pitiful. A thousand people freezing their butts off waiting to worship a rat. What a hype. Well, it used to mean something in this town. They used to pull the hog out, and they used to
eat it. You're hypocrites, all of you!" Happy Groundhog
Day!
12.25.5
Happy Non-Specific Winter
Seasonal Type End
of Year-ish Gifty
Celebration!
12.10.5
Richard Pryor
(1940-2005)
12.5.5
New
Featured Fan of the Month! See
Below.
11.27.5
Updated
Alan & Sasha's Christmas
Wish List
Lots of New Toys Added!
11.14.5
Dr.
Rosenrosen has been asked a question and his response will end,
once and for all, the debate over Intelligent
Design vs. Evolution.
11.11.5
Alan & Sasha's Christmas
Wish List has been added to the Website
11.3.5
New
Featured Fan of the Month! See
Below.
10.3.5
New
Featured Fan of the Month! See
Below.
10.1.5![]()
I'm going to try and write a summer movie recap this week so I can have
some reviews to go with the scores for all the films I saw over the
summer. Sorry I've been slacking off.
9.1.5
New
Featured Fan of the Month! See
Below.
8.14.5
Beans
Lands a
Back Roll
Click
Here to see
the Video Clip
8.1.5
New
Featured Fan of the Month! See
Below.
7.30.5
The move to the new house and all the unpacking is finally complete.
Movie Reviews and Sasha's World updates are on the way!
6.18.5
Alan's
Endless Summer
Surf Journal Entry
6.6.5
New
Featured Fan of the Month! See
Below.
5.25.5
5.19.5
I saw it last night at midnight. Review
Here
5.7.5
5.5.5
Today's Date is 05-05-05. That's neato!
5.4.5
New
Featured Fan of the Month! See
Below.
5.3.5
Lazy Website Author: Sorry for the
lack of updates and "score only" movie reviews. I'll try
to get some mini reviews written up in the next few days for the last 4
movies. Holly's finishing up the semester and using all the precious
evening computer time. Plus Sasha's getting to that age where she
needs someone playing with her all the time. I've tried to neglect
her as much as I can, to keep the website updates going, but sometimes I feel
guilty and force myself to feed and play with her.
4.6.5

It's Alan's Birthday!
Presents for Alan?
4.5.5
New
Featured Fan of the Month! See
Below.
4.2.5
OK, I've seen it
now. We can all resume our lives.
3.29.5
Alan starts to go crazy waiting for Sin
City to open this weekend.
3.4.5
New
Featured Fan of the Month! See
Below.
3.3.5
You may have noticed that the website was acting weird for the last day or
so and hasn't been updated for a week. Well that was because I was
moving it to a different host but everything should be back up and running
now. Sorry for the disruption. New content is on the way!
2.25.5
2.21.5
Hurray! Finally, someone (Joel) has shed some light on the whole Sideways
mystery. This is exactly what I wanted! Click
here to see Joel's review!
I encourage everyone to send in their opinions on any review I post (especially since I have not had time to write full reviews lately.)
Thanks for the review Joel.
2.14.5
2.4.5
New Stories Added To
The Projectalan
Action News Post-Intelligencer
2.1.5
New
Featured Fan of the Month! See
Below.
1.27.5
2004 Oscar
Nominees
(I'll make my predictions just before the ceremony)
1.25.5
The Wide
World of News is out of business. Your new source of all
things newsie will come from The Projectalan
Action News Post-Intelligencer. This
new publication is a running news chronicle that will be updated in smaller
installments, as opposed to the full edition format previously employed in
our former newspaper. In this way we hope to bring you more timely infotainment
and breaking news updates.
1.8.5
New
Featured Fan of the Month! See
Below.
1.1.5
Happy New Year!
12.20.4
Alan's
Top 10
Favorite Movies
of 2004
12.12.4
Movie Review: Blade
Trinity
12.12.4
Delayed
Movie Review: Ocean's
12
12.8.4
Super Delayed
Movie Review: Shark
Tale
12.5.4
Delayed
Movie Review: Alexander
12.1.4
New
Featured Fan of the Month! See
Below.
11.28.4
Delayed
Movie Review: Ghost
in the Shell: Innocence
11.26.4
Delayed
Movie Review: Seed
of Chucky
11.24.4
This year, more than 45 million turkeys will have their beaks and toes cut off without pain killers and their throats slit while they are still conscious.
(Source: www.PETA.org)
Happy Holiday!
11.19.4
Delayed
Movie Review: The
Incredibles
11.08.4
Dr.
Rosenrosen
has helped a sad Democrat try to put the
pieces back together. Witness his newest insights here
or ask him a question yourself. The Doctor is
in!
11.7.4
Delayed Movie Review: The
Grudge
11.5.4
Super Delayed Movie Reviews:
11.3.4
Movie Review: SAW
11.2.4



Sasha Says: "GET OUT and Vote! MY
FUTURE DEPENDS ON IT!!


11.2.4
Election
Day!
Go Vote Against Bush!
Bush's
Body Count
11.1.4
New
Featured Fan of the Month! See
Below.
10.18.4
Movie Review: Team
America: World Police
10.16.4
Dr.
Rosenrosen
has helped another lost reader find his
way. Witness his newest insights here
or ask him a question yourself. The Doctor is
in!
10.12.4
Reminder: Fahrenheit 9/11
is
now out on DVD.
Holly, Alan and Mike say: "Go rent the most important film of the
year!"
10.11.4

Christopher Reeve
(1952-2004)
10.6.4

Rodney Dangerfield
(1921-2004)
10.2.4
I don't review DVD's (yet) but I just wanted to say to all the Star
Wars fans out there that the new Star
Wars Special Edition DVD Trilogy is awesome! It's like
watching the films for the first time! I don't know how they cleaned
them up so well, but they look and sound more sharp and clear than
ever. And, as far as I'm concerned, the much maligned "Lucas
Revisions" only make the series better.
10.1.4
New
Featured Fan of the Month! See
Below.
9.28.4
Movie Review: Shaun
of the Dead
9.20.4
Delayed Movie Review:
Resident Evil: Apocalypse
9.23.4
New Wide
World of News!
9.20.4
Movie Review: Sky
Captain and The World of Tomorrow
9.4.4
Movie Review: Garden
State
8.31.04
New Update:
Alan's Endless Summer
Not
really any surfing but some great pictures of my beach.
8.29.4
Guest Movie Review: Open
Water
8.17.4
Movie Review: Alien
Vs. Predator
8.13.4
Movie Review: Riding
Giants
8.9.4
Movie Review: The
Village
8.7.4
New Feature:
Be a Projectalan Guest Movie Critic

Click
Here For Details
8.6.4
Movie Review: Napoleon
Dynamite
8.3.4
Movie Review: Anchorman
7.30.4
It's Holly & Alan's 10th Wedding Anniversary!
7.28.4
Movie Review: The
Bourne Supremacy
7.27.4
Movie Review: Catwoman
7.26.4
Fahrenheit 9/11 box
office passes
$100
million. Lets all go see it again
and make it $200 million. Don't just sit around waiting like Bush
did on 9/11. Go see
The #1 Documentary in History!
Projectalan
Endorsement:
The #1 Documentary in History!

It is your
duty as a citizen to go see the most important film of the year -
Fahrenheit 9/11
7.19.4
Movie Review: Control
Room
7.17.4
Movie Review: I,
Robot

8.1.4
Sasha's
World Photo Updates. Day
3 Photos
7.31.4
Sasha's
World Photo Updates. Day
2 Photos + Video Clips!
Sasha
is
Here!![]()

Check
her Out
Born on 7/30/04 (Holly
& Alan's 10th Wedding Anniversary)
5:33pm, Weight 7lbs
13oz, 18 Inches Long
7.23.4
Baby Update!
New
Sasha Pictures! Plus more July Update Info
7.20.4
Baby Update! Sasha's Official Baby Room
Tour now available on Sasha's
World website.
7.18.4
Baby
Update! Sasha gets a
Pediatrician. Baby due date window now just 12 days away!
7.13.4
New Update:
Alan's Endless Summer
The surf was totally flat this weekend so I
played on the computer. This update is out of sequence and not
exactly about surfing but it took me a while to edit all the
pictures. Enjoy!
7.11.4
Didn't go to the movies this weekend. I spent the afternoon today
reformatting Sasha's
part of my web site to look like a mini-version of my own home page.
I'll add new categories as she starts to do stuff that I can report.
7.4.4![]()
Happy 4th of July!
If you're a true patriot go see Fahrenheit 9/11
today before the fireworks
tonight. Learn a little bit about your country before you celebrate
it.
7.3.4
New Update:
Alan's Endless Summer
7.2.4
New Requested Feature:
"Fans of the Website" section below where I acknowledge
those who actually admit to being a fan of the website.
7.1.4
Movie Review: Spiderman
2
6.28.4
Baby
Update! Sasha's
Baby Shower Photos
6.27.4
Movie Review:
Fahrenheit 9/11
6.26.4
Movie Review: The
Terminal
6.25.4
I noticed a few weeks ago that the video clip of the Great
White Shark that almost ate me while I was surfing last month was not
working anymore so I copied it and it is now linked directly from my
website. If you haven't seen it go check it out.
6.24.4
Movie Review: Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
6.22.4
Movie Review: The
Stepford Wives
6.20.4
Movie Review: The
Chronicles of Riddick
6.16.4
Movie Review:
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
6.15.4
Special Thanks to Jeff (1 of 5)
and the rest of the Rowland Collective for sending me the out-of-print
Criterion Collection DVD of the 1987 cyborg classic Robocop
for my Birthday.
I actually tried to resist the opportunity to meet Robocop in 1987 but my resistance was futile.
6.14.4
Sasha's Baby Shower in Michigan last week was a great success! I'll
be posting pictures of the party and Alan's Wake Boarding adventure on
Beans and Dawn's boat sometime in the next few days. Stay tuned!
6.1.4
Movie Review: Shrek
2
5.31.4
Matrix, Matrix, Matrix! It's
all Alan ever talks about. Actually this will probably be the last
time I talk about it for a while. I wrote this little essay for my
matrix-obsessed friend Bendy
about a month ago and I forgot to post it. So here it is.
5.28.4
Movie Review: The
Day After Tomorrow
5.26.4
Special Thanks to Mark, Angela and Sylvie for "conspiring" to
send me the Oliver Stone JKF
DVD for my Birthday.
5.25.4
Movie Review: Van
Helsing
5.24.4
New Update:
Alan's Endless Summer
5.22.4
Movie Review: Troy
Movie Review: Envy
5.21.4
Baby
Update! May News and the Official
Press Release of the Baby's Name! Also, Baby Shower Information and
Special Details Regarding Limited Membership Availability in the Friends
of Sasha Society
5.20.4
Trip pictures from Charleston
and Carolina
Beach
See the first images from my new digital camera!
5.15.4
I posted some grades for the movies I saw today (Troy, Van Helsing and
Envy) but I haven't had time to write the reviews yet. Been kind
of busy with our little weekend trip and baby stuff. New reviews and
comedy news will probably come this weekend.
5.10.4
We went to Charleston, South Carolina for a long weekend so I don't have
any new movie reviews this week. I'll post some trip pictures in the
next day or so. I finally got to use my new digital camera!
4.25.4
Movie Review: Man
on Fire
4.24.4
Baby
Update! April News and a new Guess
the Baby's Name Game!
4.22.4
Happy Earth
Day !
Lets take a moment to collect all those
Eco-Unfriendly products around the house, seal them up tight in a nice
thick plastic bag and bury them at your local neighborhood landfill.
4.20.4
Movie Review: The
Punisher
4.16.4
Movie Review: Kill
Bill Vol. 2

4.10.4
Movie Review: The
Ladykillers
4.9.4
It's Alan's Birthday in the Matrix Weekend!
Tonight we will eat Matrix-Cupcakes and start to watch the entire Matrix
and Animatrix
series for the first time in chronological order!
4.7.4
Projectalan Endorsement:
Everyone near a computer should be listening to the new Air
America Radio Network from 12-3pm Mon-Fri for "The O'Franken
Factor." It's Drug Free Talk Radio in the Zero Spin Zone!
4.6.4
Today I am 33. All Hail the Birthday Boy!
4.5.4
Movie Review: Walking
Tall
4.4.4
Movie Review: Hellboy
Hey, today's date is 4/4/4. That's neato!
3.31.4
First new journal entry for Alan's
Endless Summer 2004 Season
3.29.4
Just a Reminder: Alan's
Birthday is only 7 Days Away! April 6th!
3.27.4
I bought my
surf board today! Thanks again to Beans, Dawn, Mom, Dad &
Holly for the gift certificate!
3.21.4
Movie Review: Dawn
of the Dead
3.20.4
Movie Review:
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
3.16.4
Baby
Update! New
Pictures! Check it out! Right now! Go Look!
Now!
3.15.4
Movie Review: Bubba
Ho-Tep
3.14.4
Sneak Preview! Movie Review:
Taking
Lives
Movie Review: Secret Window
3.13.4
Just a Reminder: Alan's
Birthday is only 24 Days Away! April 6th!
3.12.4
Movie Review: Touching
the Void
3.8.4
Projectalan
is Now Master of it's Domain!
The old URL will still work but the new domain is:
www.projectalan.com
Make sure you tell everyone
you know about the new website address!
3.1.4
2004 Academy Awards
Winners
With Links to Reviews of the Movies by Alan!
2.28.4
Movie Review: The
Passion of the Christ
2.27.4
Movie Review: In
America
2.26.4
For the Gambling Addicts and Office Poolers:
Alan's
2004 Oscar Predictions
![]()
With Links to Reviews of the Movies by
Alan!
2.25.4
Movie Review: Monster
2.24.4
Alan's
Top 10 Favorite Movies of 2003 Revised
Again
2.23.4
Movie Review: City
of God
2.22.4
Sneak Preview! Movie Review: Starsky
& Hutch

Happy 2nd Birthday Projectalan!
Current
Site Stats:
Total Hits:37330
Total Visitors:22963
2.15.4
Kill
Bill Vol. 2 Delayed until April 16th!
2.6.4
Movie Review: Along
Came Polly
2.5.4
Movie Review: The
Butterfly Effect
2.3.4
Happy Sequentenial!
2.2.4
Rise and shine campers, and don't forget your booties 'cause it's cooooold out there today.
It's Groundhog Day!
2.1.4
Movie Review: 21
Grams
1.27.4
2004 Academy Awards Nominations
![]()
With Links to Reviews of the Movies by
Alan!
1.26.4
Movie Review: Stuck
on You
1.20.4
No New Movie Reviews this week. I went to go see
The Return of the King
for the 4th time!
1.14.4
Here's a Picture
of me with the Maidens of Rohan and
Elf Princesses of Lothlorien and Rivendell at the 16 Hour Lord of the Rings
Trilogy Tuesday!
Photo Gallery Updates:
Fisher Visit to Virginia Beach November 2003
1.11.4
Movie Review: Big
Fish
1.6.4
Movie Review:
The Return of the King
1.5.4
Movie Review: Paycheck
Movie Review: Cold Mountain
1.4.4
Alan's
Top 10 Favorite Movies of 2003 Revised
Movie Review: House of Sand and Fog
12.31.3
A Christmas Story:

The swag was good this year. Definitely worth the big drive
North to the painfully frozen wasteland of Michigan. A very
big Thank You to all who contributed to Alan's Christmas
Loot! :)
Holly: Naked Lunch DVD
Mom and Dad Fisher: Indiana Jones Trilogy DVD Box Set, Simpsons Dominoes, Simpsons Loser Takes All Game, Big Jar of Pistachios
Mom and Dad Wiseman: Gift Certificate for Surf Board and Surf Accessories, Simpsons Action Figures
Beans and Dawn: Big Gift Certificate for Surf Board and Surf Accessories, Surf Magazines, Empty Life Cereal Box
Jeff Rowland: Futurama Leela Action Figure and Futurama Pop-Out People
Aunt Sharon and Uncle Alphie: Fancy Black T-Shirt
Uncle Fred and Aunt Peggy: 2004 National Geographic Subscription
Jeff Glasscock: The Gong Show Movie DVD
Alan: The
Fly/Fly 2 Combo
DVD,
Heavenly Creatures
DVD,
Spawn
DVD,
The Frighteners
DVD, The Naked Gun Trilogy Box Set
Additional DVD's that Holly received as presents: Notorious,
Rebecca, Spellbound,
Fargo
12.25.3
Happy Holidays!
12.20.3
Movie Pre-Review:
The Return of the King
12.14.3
Movie Review:
Something's Gotta Give
12.13.3
Movie Review:
The Haunted Mansion
12.12.3
Movie Review:
Bad Santa
12.11.3
Movie Review:
The Last Samurai
12.10.3
It's Holly's Birthday!
Give her a call. Send her a gift. Seriously... Stop
what you're doing, call her and send her a gift! I insist!
Happy Birthday Holly!
12.8.3
The Wisdom of Dr.
Rosenrosen has once again been summoned. Witness his learned
response Here!
11.28.3
New Genre Based Search
Function Added to My
DVD Collection!
11.27.3
Happy Turkey Corpse Eating Day!
New Genre Based Search
Function Added to Alan's
Totally Biased Movie Reviews!
11.25.3
Movie Review:
Gothika
11.23.3
Movie Review: Looney Tunes: Back in Action
11.22.3
It's Frodo-Fest 2003 here at Holly and Alan's House. We dragged the
mattress into the living room and are now settling in surrounded by treats
and goodies to watch the first
two extended edition DVD's of the Lord of the Rings Series.
We'll be kind of busy for the next 8-10 hours!
11.21.3
Movie Review:
Wonderland
11.19.3
Movie Review:
Master
and Commander
11.16.3
Movie Review:
Scary
Movie 3
Movie Review: Elf
11.14.3
Lord of the Rings Trilogy Tickets are now selling for about $500 each on
eBay. So when Holly and I go see it next month it will officially be
the longest and most expensive movie I have ever seen.
11.11.3
Fun Fact: 1/3 of U.S. Homeless Served in
the Armed Forces. Happy Veterans Day!
11.10.3
Sorry for the Delay
Movie Review:
The Matrix: Revolutions

11.4.3
Tomorrow. Everything That Has a Beginning Has an End.
In IMAX on Opening
Night!
10.27.3
Photo Gallery Updates!
10.26.3
New stuff added to the website.
W.W.A.W.
and
I Read Junk Now
10.25.3
Movie Review:
Texas Chainsaw Massacre
10.24.3
Movie Review:
Runaway Jury
10.23.3
Movie Review:
Mystic River
10.21.3
Bye Bye Elliott. We Love You!

1969-2003
10.16.3
New Update of Alan's
Endless Summer

10.15.3
If anyone is looking for me on Tuesday December 16th I'll be at the movie
theatre for the entire day watching the sneak preview extended version
limited edition one-day-only showing of the entire Lord
of the Rings Trilogy. The entire movie will be over 11.5
hours long!

10.14.3
Movie Review: House of the Dead
10.13.3
Movie Review: Kill Bill: Vol
1
10.9.3
Movie Review: School
of Rock
10.8.3
Movie Review: Lost
in Translation
9.26.3
Movie Review:
American
Splendor
9.22.3
We survived Hurricane Isabel. Hurray!

Movie Review:
Once Upon a Time in Mexico
9.18.3
Movie Review:
Cabin Fever
9.17.3
Hurricane
Isabel to Strike Virginia Beach Tomorrow! Authorities have
suggested that people who remain, despite evacuation warnings, should
write their names on their arms with permanent black marker so that their bodies can
be identified. It's getting wild down here!

9.16.3
Sneak Preview
Movie Review:
Underworld
9.15.3
Forecasts
Predict Hurricane Isabel to Hit Holly and Alan

9.14.3
New Update of Alan's
Endless Summer

9.9.3

Memories 2003
9.8.3
Movie Review:
Step Into Liquid
Also new 2003 Fall Movie Schedule
9.6.3
New Update of Alan's
Endless Summer

9.3.3
Coming Soon - Cedar Point 2003 Memories
8.20.3
New movie reviews over on the left for
Seabiscuit and Freddy Vs. Jason
8.18.3
New Update of Alan's
Endless Summer

Also new movie review over on the left for Capturing the Friedmans
8.10.3
New Update of Alan's
Endless Summer

Also new movie review over on the left for S.W.A.T.
8.3.3
New Update of Alan's
Endless Summer

7.30.3
Holly and Alan's 9th Anniversary! Hurrah!
7.27.3
Went to go see the new Tomb Raider movie on Friday night. The guy
sitting next to me looked just like the Comic Book Store guy on the
Simpsons! Then on Saturday we spent the whole day riding
roller-coasters at Duff (a.k.a. Busch) Gardens. Then today I was
gonna get up early and go surfing but the wave conditions were poor.
The weather's great and it would be a nice day to go to the beach but the
surf report was waist high and on the shore with a SE swell
that's kind of mushy.
7.21.3
It's been a lusciously lazy July for Alan and Holly so far. Not too
much to report. We went to the OBX of N.C. yesterday but the water
was placid so I didn't get a chance to surf.
The weekend before this Beans
and Dawn came to visit. We went to see the Matrix
at the IMAX (an invitation I continue to extend to all who wish to join
me), ate a bunch of seafood and went to the beach. Beans and I got
in some great Boogie Boarding that day. The week before that,
leading up to and after the 4th of July, Holly and I were sick. We
missed the fireworks and even though the temperature here was in the 90's
- 100's and the weather was beautiful I spent most of the beginning of the
month wrapped in a blanket shivering with fever chills.
7.4.3 ![]()
![]()
Happy
Independence Day!
Go to www.google.com Type: weapons of mass destruction (no quotation marks). Do NOT click Google Search. Instead, click: I'm Feeling Lucky. Then read the whole error message carefully.
6.30.3
New Feature: Alan's
Endless Summer Check it out!
6.25.3
Exclusive Photos of Holly and Alan's trip to Utah. Click
here to see the vacation that
everybody's been talking about!

6.24.3
Sorry about the lack of updates but I've been scanning and editing pics
from our cool trip to Utah. I should have them posted in the next
day or so. Plus more movie reviews are on the way as well as a new
section that will document my training as a surfer called Alan's
Endless Summer.
6.15.3
We're back from Utah! I'll get the pics posted in the next week or
so. I'm going to see the Matrix
Reloaded at the IMAX theatre tonight!
6.7.3
Hello loyal readers, You may have noticed a small change to the
website. Everything is still here just like before but in a new
fancy-pants format. Shoot me an email
and let me know what you think! Holly and I are going on vacation to
the Wild West for a spell. Be back soon!
5.30.3
My parents came to visit last
weekend and I was horrified to find out that they were unaware of my
little online comedy news paper The
Wide World of News. For those of you who are new to
the site, The
Wide World of News is my attempt to fill the void
between the weekly editions of America's Finest News Source The
Onion.
Also of note: In the coming weeks I will probably be tinkering
around with the main page of my website to make it more interesting
and attention grabbing. I encourage loyal readers to email
me with their opinions and suggestions.
5.14.3
I traded in my opening night
ticket for the 10pm sneak preview tonight! I am now
off to watch the first movie for the 1000th time before I get reloaded into the
Matrix
again!
5.12.3
Important
Job posting for The Brotherhood of Nerds!
(You know who you are)
Can you translate the following phrase?
Heghlu'meH QaQ jajvam
If you can then you should check out this job posting I found on CNN.
Not since Riker embarrassed humanity with his barely successful
internship on the Pagh has such an opportunity been available!
Apparently there are a sufficient number of lunatics in Portland,
Oregon's insane asylums as to require a paid position for someone to
speak and translate Klingon. The Department of Human Services
is accepting applications for a fluent speaker to communicate with
residents who have adopted the language of Kalis as their only
method of communication. Although my knowledge could, perhaps,
afford me a few more precious moments if thrown before the mercy of
the Court of Galron, my lack of fluency basically guarantees that I
shall never see Stovo Core.
5.11.3
New Simpsons and Futurama
toys added to Alan's
Gift Registry
4.28.3
New visitor to the site?
Got
a question? Want an answer? For advice, therapy, psychic
predictions, technical support, lucky numbers, important life
decisions, or if you just wanna communicate with a recently departed
pet or loved one. Just ask Dr.
Rosenrosen. The Doctor is in!
4.27.3
Movie
Review: Bulletproof
Monk (4.18.3)
4.24.3
Oh My God, Oh My God, Oh My
God... Guess What?!
Imax has signed a deal with Warner Bros. to release the forthcoming The Matrix Reloaded and next fall's
The Matrix Revolutions on giant IMAX screens in North America at the same time they will be running in conventional theaters.
The films will be digitally-remastered using Imax's DMR technology, which had previously been used to convert
Apollo 13 and
Star Wars: Episode II -- Attack of the Clones to the Imax giant-screen format.
The first Matrix sequel is expected to open in Imax theaters about two to three weeks after its general release on May 15.
The Matrix Revolution is expected to open in Imax and conventional theaters simultaneously on Nov. 5.
We have 2 IMAX theatres here in town! If you need to find me
at any time this year after May, your best bet would be to check the
IMAX theatres!
Source: IMDB
4.21.3
Movie
Review: Phone
Booth (4.18.3)
4.20.3
Charles Foster Kane Media International
proudly presents:
The
Wide World of News
4.11.3
Movie
Review: The
Core (4.7.3)
4.10.3
I found out today
that you can find my website by typing my name into most major
search engines. I actually have total strangers who visit my
site now. That's neato!
4.6.3
Today was my birthday! I
saw Ben
Folds last night at University of Richmond. It was
awesome! It was just Ben on stage playing the piano and
singing. Very cool! Then on the way home today we were
driving past Busch
Gardens so we stopped in, bought season passes, and rode roller
coasters all afternoon! It's only about 40 minutes from my
apartment so I can go play after work all summer if I wanna!
By the way, it is summer here. It was sunny and warm all
weekend. I would say it was the first time it didn't snow on
my birthday, but I heard that up in The Great White North you hosers
got whitewashed! Ha!
Birthday presents this year included:
Mom and Dad Wiseman: Surf Board Money
Mom and Dad Fisher: Yojimbo DVD and Blazing Saddles DVD
Holly: Surf Board and Surf Accessories, Office Space DVD and Casino DVD
Grandma and Grandpa Johnson: Money for Ran DVD, Andromeda Strain DVD
Jeff Rowland: Temporary custody of his Spiderman Comic Book Collection, X-Men Novels, and other misc. Comics
Aunt Marilyn and Uncle Charlie: Birthday Card
Little Fishers: Hidden Fortress DVD
Aunt Mary: The Killer DVD, Invasion of the Body Snatchers DVD
Beans and Dawn: ???
Thank You! Thank You! Thank You!
4.5.3
Holly's taking me to Richmond to
see Ben Folds for my birthday! Hurray!
4.1.3
I was listening to the Mancow
syndicated morning show yesterday and they played this funny parody
of that "whatever" song. If you're for the war in
Iraq you'll love it, and if you're against the war in Iraq you'll
love it! It works either way. Click here and Enjoy!
3.30.3
Movie
Review: Basic
(3.29.3)
Movie
Review: Tears
of the Sun
(3.29.3)
3.26.3
Charles Foster Kane Media International
proudly presents:
The
Wide World of War News: Special Edition
3.23.3
Movie
Review: Dreamcatcher
(3.22.3)
Movie
Review: The
Animatrix: Final Flight of the Osiris
(3.22.3)
Alan's
Picks for the 75th Annual Academy Awards
3.20.3
Movie
Review: Willard
(3.16.3)
3.18.2
DVD
Tuesday! New
acquisitions:
3.15.3
Charles Foster Kane Media International
proudly presents:
The
Wide World of News
3.6.3
Charles Foster Kane Media International
proudly presents:
The
Wide World of News
It's March 6th. That means you have exactly
one month to prepare for my birthday! For those of you
"in the giving mood" feel free to visit my Gift
Registry to pick out that special something. With the
wonders of technology you can actually go to a website, buy me
something, and have it delivered right to my happy
little apartment down here at the beach without ever leaving the
comfort of your own home! Isn't that cool? Or for you adventurous
types, you can come and visit me! (It was in the mid-70's here
today so you can get a preview of summer, hang out with Alan, and
celebrate my 32nd year!)
3.5.3
Good News Everybody! I'm
back! Sorry I had to step away from the site for a couple
weeks. If you need an excuse click
here.
For those of you who may have opened the site sometime yesterday
afternoon or this morning, you were probably inundated by
pop-ups. Sorry about that. My account expired and I
forgot to renew it. But everything should be back to normal
now. I hope you didn't take advantage of any of the pop-up
offers cause I didn't get any commissions for that.
3.4.3
DVD
Tuesday! New
acquisitions:
2.23.2
Movie
Review: The
Life of David Gale (2.22.3)
2.22.3
Photo Gallery Updates!
Movie Review: Shanghai Knights (2.16.3)
Movie Review: Daredevil (2.16.3)
2.21.3 ![]()
![]()
![]()
ProjectAlan Website 1st
Anniversary!
2.20.3
Photo Gallery Updates!
2.15.3
Movie
Review: Confessions
of a Dangerous Mind (2.9.3)
2.14.3
Charles Foster Kane Media International
proudly presents:
The
Wide World of News
2.8.3
Charles Foster Kane Media International
proudly presents:
The
Wide World of News
2.3.3
Movie
Review: The
Pianist (2.1.3)
Movie
Review: Final
Destination 2 (2.2.3)
Movie
Review: Darkness
Falls (2.2.3)
2.1.3
Movie
Review: About
Schmidt (1.26.3)
1.31.3
Charles Foster Kane Media International
proudly presents:
The
Wide World of News
1.23.3
Charles Foster Kane Media International
proudly presents:
The
Wide World of News
1.21.3
Movie
Review: Adaptation
(1.12.3)
1.19.3
Photo Gallery Updates!
The First Installment of Super
Slides From the 70's:
1.17.3
K-Tel International
Presents: Alan
Sounds
1.13.3
Charles Foster Kane Media International
proudly presents:
The
Wide World of News
1.11.3
Movie
Review: Catch Me If You Can
(1.5.3)
Movie
Review: Gangs
of New York (1.4.3)
1.10.3
Movie
Review: Lord
of the Rings: The Two Towers
(12.26.2)
1.7.3
DVD Tuesday! New
acquisitions:
1.6.3
Charles Foster Kane Media International
proudly presents:
The
Wide World of News
1.4.3
Movie
Review: Star
Trek Nemesis
(12.23.2)
Photo Gallery Updates!
The Early Years 1971-1984. New hilarious pictures of me
and my family are coming soon.
Vacation California (New)
The Bahamas (New)
1.2.3
I don't really have anything new
to add today but I wanted to do an update that was dated 1.2.3 since
this is the last time in my life that I'll be able to use that date
for something. We celebrated the "Sequentenial" by
feasting at the best all you can eat seafood buffet in Virginia
Beach. I hope everyone else made the most of this rare
numerological occurrence. Happy Sequentenial!
1.1.3
The 2002 Christmas Present
Report
The swag was good this year. Definitely worth the big drive
North to the painfully frozen wasteland of Michigan. A very
big Thank You to all who contributed to Alan's Christmas
Loot! :)
Holly: Surf Board and Surf Accessories (Spring 2003), Mini-Remote racer car, flashlight kit, Spiderman lunch box
Mom and Dad Fisher: Rashomon DVD, Texas Chainsaw Massacre DVD, Simpson's Clue Game, Homer Simpson Talking Beer Opener, miscellaneous stocking stuff
Mom and Dad Wiseman: Money for Surf Board and Surf Accessories (Spring 2003)
Grandma and Grandpa Johnson: Black sweater vest, Black turtleneck shirt, Mustang car model, Fancy Cross Pen set, Mug and Tea set, Money for DVD
Jeff, Lisa, Maddie, Tess, Anna: Simpson's Police Station Environment including interactive action figures of; Lisa, Officer Eddie, Jail-House Krusty, and Dr. Hibbert
Mark, Angela, Sophie: The City of Lost children DVD
Beans and Dawn: Get a Life: Volume 1 DVD, Get a Life: Volume 2 DVD
Aunt Sharon and Uncle Alphie: Black Long Sleeve Knit Polo Shirt
Aunt Mary: Cologne, Dilbert Mug, The New Yorker Technology Cartoon Book
Uncle Fred and Aunt Peggy: 2003 National Geographic Subscription
Theresa and Corey: Gift basket
Alan:
Talking Krusty The Clown Watch, XXX
DVD, Minority
Report DVD
Additional DVD's that Holly received as presents:
Photo Gallery Updates!
Special note for anyone who
cares about looking at pictures of me. My parents loaned
me the family slides so expect some new hilarious pictures of me
and my family in the coming months.
Rowland's (Expanded)
Wiseman's (Expanded)
Michigan (Expanded)
Ghent (New)
12.20.2
Attention all you hoser fans in
the Great White North. (For
those of you who don't know, that's anyone above the Mason/Dixon
Line) The Projectalan
website is going on a little vacation break for a couple
weeks. I'll be back in the new year with tons of movie
reviews, Christmas present reports, and our newest most popular
feature: The Wide World of News. Have a happy holiday
season!
Here's one more very special holiday
edition of The News.
Charles Foster Kane Media International
proudly presents:
The
Wide World of News: Very Special Holiday Edition
12.14.2
Charles Foster Kane Media International
proudly presents:
The
Wide World of News
12.7.2
Photo Gallery Updates!
Mexico (Expanded)
Wiseman Family (Expanded)
Stalking Celebrities (Expanded)
The Chuck Wood Collection (Expanded)
Friends (Expanded)
Holly (Expanded)
I Started Out as a Child (Expanded)
Little Fisher Family
(Expanded)
12.4.2
Charles Foster Kane Media International
proudly presents:
The
Wide World of News
12.3.2
Movie
Review: Die
Another Day
DVD Tuesday! New
acquisition:
12.1.2
Movie
Review: Harry
Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
11.26.2
DVD Tuesday! New acquisitions
include:
11.24.2
Photo Gallery Updates!
Trasher Comics
International Presents:
Street
Skate Legends of 1985
11.19.2
Movie
Review: Bowling
For Columbine
11.14.2
Charles Foster Kane Media International
proudly present: The
Wide World of News
11.12.2
Movie
Review: 8
Mile
DVD Tuesday! New acquisitions
include:
11.9.2
After I finished reading The
Onion last night I was upset that I would have to wait a few
days until the next edition. So I decided to make my own
little news paper. Charles Foster Kane Media International
proudly present: The
Wide World of News
11.8.2
Expanded Movie
Review: Star
Wars Episode 2: Attack of the Clones, The IMAX
Experience
11.6.2
Don't blame me. I voted for Kodos!

11.5.2
Movie
Review: Star
Wars Episode 2: Attack of the Clones, The IMAX
Experience
11.1.2
Spidey-DVD-Day!
New acquisition includes:
10.31.2


Holly's Parents and our niece
Maddie are coming to visit this weekend so there probably won't be
any new updates. Try watching some TV. It'll help ease
the pain. Happy Halloween!
10.30.2
Dr. Rosenrosen saves the day
again. A new question and a new brilliant response. Click
here to learn from his wisdom.
10.30.2
Movie
Review: XXX
10.27.2
Stopped at the movie-music-comic
book store on the way home from coffee today and grabbed a few used
DVD's
New acquisitions include:
10.26.2
Photo Gallery Updates!
10.24.2
Despite
warnings of rain and sniper attacks, we decided to drive North to
the mountains last weekend. Wanna
see?
10.22.2
Movie
Review: The
Ring
10.21.2
Nobody will probably care about
this except me, but I'm reading rumors everywhere that say Dean Devlin and Roland Emmerich
are approaching the cast of Independence
Day (my all time favorite movie) for a sequel. Hurray!
10.20.2
Sometime after November 1st I'll
be going to see Star
Wars Episode 2: Attack of the Clones on the IMAX screen at the
Virginia Air and Space Center. I can't wait!
Movie
Review: Apollo
13 The IMAX Experience
Movie
Review: My
Big Fat Greek Wedding
10.18.2
A Very
Special Message to my Super-Fans who have already
taken the quiz below. I appreciate your immediate need to
prove yourselves to me but there is actually a key now so you can
see what your score means. Lets all try this again!
Take the The Friends of Alan Loyalty Quiz!
again for the first time.
10.18.2
Take the The Friends of Alan Loyalty Quiz!
10.18.2
Someone besides loyal reader
Chuck Wood, has finally asked for the advice of Dr. Rosenrosen.
Click
here to learn from his wisdom.
10.14.2 ![]()

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October 14th 2002, a day
that will one day no doubt soon become a National Holiday! You
may have instantly noticed but if you didn't, The Projectalan
Website is now pop-up and banner ad free! Yes, loyal reader(s)
I actually paid money to amuse you with my stupid
website.
In the coming months I will now be able to expand the scope of this
site to include all kinds of goodies I've never been able to force
upon you before!
Of course, with great power comes great responsibility and since I
can hardly be responsible for everything, I have a favor to
ask. One of the reasons I upgraded the site was because a
number of photos were recently corrupted. I searched out and
replaced as many as I could find but there may be more. If you
come across a place where a photo should be or a caption without a
picture please contact me by clicking the e-mail link on the left of
this page. Just tell me what page it is and I'll fix it.
Deal? Good. O.K. That's all for now. Enjoy
the new and soon to be improved site!
10.7.2
We went to see Dashboard
Confessional and Ash tonight. It was a great
show! Must have albums by these 2 bands include...
Dashboard Confessional:
The Places You Have Come To Fear The Most
Swiss Army Romance
Ash:
1977
10.6.2
Movie
Review: Red
Dragon
10.5.2
Photo Gallery Updates!
10.1.2
It's Tuesday! (or as we in
the fanatic DVD counter-culture call it... DVD Release
Day!)
New acquisitions include:
9.26.2
When I figured out my new scanner
last weekend I went a little crazy and scanned way too many
pictures. It's taken me all week to edit the color and crop
them into the web site. The following links below will take
you to the first randomly selected new pictures. If you don't
have a cable or dsl internet connection this may take a while.
9.21.2
Movie
Review: One
Hour Photo
9.20.2
If you're like me, you've
probably thought about what it would be like if your best friend
from elementary school and your best friend from high school were
with you when you started 9th grade. Assuming that a feature
film biography of my life is in development at some major studio,
I've taken the liberty of scouting some young talented teenagers to
play Bendera
Howard, me and Chuck Wood.
9.14.2
I hooked up my cool new scanner
today so I'll start doing a huge expansion of the photo section in
the coming weeks. There are also some new movies at the
theatre that I'm dying to see. Stay tuned!
8.25.2
Movie
Review: The
Good Girl
Sorry this one is out of sequence but I took a little
vacation from the website while Chuck (aka Loyal Reader #1) was on
his honeymoon
9.4.2
New DVD's added to My
DVD Collection
New link added to
More Interesting
Places
Added a couple new jokes
today. :)
8.27.2
New DVD's added to My
DVD Collection
8.24.2
Today I get to go to the ECSC (East Coast Surfing Championships) for the first time ever.
Finally! I've been watching it on TV all week and today I'm
finally gonna get to see it live. Hurrah!
8.23.2
Projectalan
Website Announcement!
There will be no more pictures published on my website until
I buy a new scanner. My current scanner is too old and the
picture quality is terrible. I'll probably go buy one next
week so the new pictures will be back soon.
8.20.2
New DVD's added to My
DVD Collection
The DVD
Wish List gets bigger
8.17.2
Movie Review: Insomnia
8.10.2
Movie Review: Signs
8.7.2
Got a question? Want an
answer? For advice, therapy, psychic predictions, technical
support, lucky numbers, important life decisions, or if you
just wanna communicate with a recently departed pet or loved
one. Just ask Dr. Rosenrosen. The
Doctor is in!
8.6.2
Holly and Alan start their new life in Virginia Beach!
8.4.2
Movie Review: Austin
Powers in Goldmember
8.3.2
New links added to
More Interesting
Places
New DVD's added to My
DVD Collection
The DVD
Wish List gets bigger
7.31.2
Holly and Alan have successfully
planted their flag in the warm soft sandy beaches of Virginia!
The Big Move was successful. We're back online as well.
More updates to come!
7.21.2
Added a couple new jokes
today. :)
7.20.2
It's 5:20am. In a few hours
I will begin the final weekend packing of the house. In 7 days
we are leaving for Virginia Beach!
7.17.2
Movie Review: Reign
of Fire
7.11.2
Holly called today and said she
scored a huge apartment for us! 1200 square feet! The
moving day is back on target as well. Once again, If anyone wants to stop by to help
(free beer, and possibly pizza, will be provided!) the truck will be packed on Saturday
the 27th and departure will be early the following morning.
For more info about the apartment, click
here.
7.8.2
Holly's apartment hunt is going
well, but we are having some trouble finding a place that will be
available on the planned date of our exodus, therefore I cannot say
with certainty that we'll be leaving as soon as I'd hoped. We
should have an idea by the end of the week. I'll keep ya
posted!
7.7.2
Movie Review: Men
in Black 2
7.4.2
The date is set. Holly and
Alan are moving
to Virginia July 28th. If anyone wants to stop by to help
(free beer will be provided!) the truck will be packed on Saturday
the 27th and departure will be early the following morning.
Holly is taking a trip next week to find a place for us to live
while I continue packing up the house.
7.3.2
Roger
Ebert is starting to bother me!
6.30.2
The
Homer
Simpson Quote of the Day
wasn't exciting enough.
So starting July 1st there will be a Homer picture with each
quote. Now that's entertainment!
6.26.2
New categories added to
the left: My
Unauthorized Autobiography: Chapters 1-6 and
The Perfect
Excuse
6.24.2
New category added to
the left: Funny
Comedy Jokes
6.23.2
Movie Review: Minority
Report
6.22.2
Last weekend my best friend Chuck
got married! Here's a few pictures
from the event.
6.18.2
More States added to the Photo
Gallery
New DVD's added to My
DVD Collection
The DVD
Wish List gets bigger
6.7.2
At Alan's website your
suggestions are sometimes acknowledged! Jeff Glasscock wanted
a
Homer
Simpson Quote of the Day.
Mmmmmm.....Quotey!
6.5.2
More States added to the Photo
Gallery
6.1.2
DVD Collection Review: Men
in Black
5.25.2
Holly told me that the Photo
Gallery part of the site needed to be better. I'll be
adding lots more pictures in the weeks to come. Check out the
cool new way to see where we've been!
5.19.2
New important hyperlink added to the "More
Interesting Places" section. New category added to
the left Holly
and Alan Follow the Sun
5.19.2
Movie Review: Star
Wars : Attack of the Clones
5.17.2
I have seen STAR WARS : Attack of the Clones
5.12.2
New categories added to the left. Things
I Hate, the Random
Update Archive, and the Six
Million Dollar Man Action Doll Instruction Manual
5.11.2
TV Season is ending but if you
were wondering what I'm watching these days - click
here
5.8.2
Movie Review: Spiderman
5.3.2
I have seen Spiderman.
4.25.2
Movie Review: The Scorpion King
4.23.2
Woody - "Rambling Cat" (1990 - 2002)
4.20.2
We're back! Against all better judgment, We have returned from
fabulous Cancun Mexico. Head over to the photo gallery for
scenes from the trip. (I'll add more after I figure out why my
scanner keeps splotching up the pictures.)
4.12.2
Holly and Alan leave for Cancun! 8 days and 7 nights in
Mexico's tropical party paradise! Holly really knows how to
guess the price of a showcase. Even Bob was impressed.
4.11.2
Reader mail:
Dear Alan,
I enjoy your movie reviews, but why would you give a stupid movie
like Blade 2 five stars? Do you really think Blade 2 is as
good as The Godfather or Citizen Kane? Are you insane?
-Chuck
Dear Readers,
Please don't go see or rent a movie based entirely on my
review. That would be crazy. You would all be horrified
if you knew how many truly bad movies I love. If I really
really like a movie then it gets 5 stars. If I really hate a
movie, then I probably won't even bother to review it. (unless
I hate it so much that I feel the need to for you to share in my disappointment)
The most important thing to remember when reading my reviews is that
this is coming from a guy whose all-time favorite movie ever is Independence
Day.
4.7.2
DVD Collection Review: The Usual Suspects
4.6.2
Happy Birthday Alan!![]()
4.5.2
Tomorrow begins Year 31
Birthday Party tonight at The Fishers. Thank you!
Mom and Dad: DVD -The Seven Samurai,
Sequence Game, Simpsons Trivia
Grandma and Grandpa: DVD - Groundhog Day, $!
Mark and Angela: DVD - The Usual Suspects
Jeff, Lisa, Maddie, Tess, Anna: DVD -
Ghostbusters, Spiderman Web Slinger
3.31.2
Only 6 more days until Alan's
birthday!
Movie Review: Resident Evil
3.30.2
Movie Review: The Queen of the
Damned, Panic Room
3.29.2
Movie Review: The
Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
3.25.2
Movie Review: Blade 2
3.24.2
DVD Collection Review: A.I. Artificial Inteligence
3.19.2
DVD Collection Review: 12 Monkeys
3.18.2
Movie Review: The Time Machine
3.17.2
New categories added over to the left. Check em out!
3.9.2
The gift registry is partially up and running. Just in time
for my birthday! April 6th. Happy shopping!
3.1.2
My DVD Collection has been added to the site. Browse through
the titles, then come over and watch a movie with me!
2.21.2
Site Inception.