The Book of Eli
Alan's Totally Biased Mini-Movie Reviews
I just don't have time to write full reviews anymore but I'll try to jab down a few lines about the movies I see at the theatre.
I really liked this movie. I can't talk about it much because it has a few big twists that I don't want to spoil, but despite the controversy, I think it's a great film. Denzel is awesome and I Gary Oldman is always a terrific villain. It was also a good post apocalypse fix to hold me over until The Road comes out on DVD. I missed that one because it only played in town here for about a week over Christmas while I was away on vacation.
This movie was better than I expected. It was an interesting story, had good actors and had some kinda scary parts. It was a fun movie and a great Vampire alternative to the boring kissy yawn-fest of the Twilight Vampires. Worth watching on DVD when it comes out.
2009 Movies
This was as super fun as I expected it to be. I wish there was more origin story, since this is the first of what I assume will be at least 2 or 3 sequels. It kind of reminded me of Batman Begins, in that even though we didn't get the origin stuff, we did get introduced to Holmes and his deductive skills and we got to see him grapple with a minor villain. The next movie sets the stage for the A-List Joker level villain - Professor Moriarty. They did this neat effect a couple times where Holmes presupposes a series of events that then work out just as expected. That was fun. Jude and Robert were great too. Don't miss this one!
So here's my review of Avatar. I saw this on opening night on the IMAX big screen in 3D. I didn't like it. I saw it again when I was up in Michigan over Christmas break and I liked it a little better. I went to go see it for a 3rd time last week (Because Holly hasn't seen it yet) and liked it less again. I don't think I'll ever love it.
Here's why. Even though the hype for this film was insane: "It will change the way movies are experienced forever", "Revolutionary", etc... I never really experienced anything new, or that exciting. In fact, this movie is just a 3D mash up of lots of things we've seen done before and sometimes, better.
Same music as King Kong (whenever something menacing is happening ie. The Destruction of HomeTree)
Same tech as Ghost in the Shell (aircopters design was exactly the same). lots of tech was lifted from this groundbreaking manga first published in 1989.
Same Mech suits we've seen many many many times for the last 30 years - District 9, The Matrix, Aliens, Mobile Suit Gundam (started in April 7, 1979 as a serial TV show), and Robert A. Heinlein's 1959 serial Starship Soldier to name a few off the top of my head.
The Story was just a mix of Dances with Wolves and The Lorax by Dr. Seuss.
Here's something that 3 months later I still bother's me: The substance that the whole movie is based on was named "unobtainium". Now I know the movie didn't invent this term, the aerospace industry apparently did in the 50's, but the sci-fi "writers" for this movie could have come up with something that sounded less stupid. If you're just gonna hang your entire film on a dim-witted term, then why not "Can'tfindium", "HardtoLocateium", "PreciousResourceium".
My final word on the movie is this: When you were watching The new Star Wars film, The Phantom Menace, did you ever say to your self "You know that Jar Jar Binks is a fascinating character. I would really like to know a lot more about him, his culture and his civilization." If you did, then Avatar is definitely the film you've been waiting for.
The best thing about this movie it that it is still somehow a Wes Anderson movie. I LOVE ALL Wes Anderson movies so I was happy that I will be able to add this to my collection and watch it along side his other masterpieces. The stop-motion animation takes a while to get used to because it's a little more low-tech and crude than anything we've seen in the last 20 years, but after about 15 minutes you don't really notice it anymore. Not really a movie for kids. I think most kids would be kind of bored.
This was a fun action movie. Rain did a great job in the lead role and the cool matrix-y fight effects were awesome. Also it's pretty brutal violence so that's neat too!
2012
+
2012 was everything I wanted it to be. The movies of Roland Emmerich are among my favorites and include my all time favorite movie ever, Independence Day (The movie that Alan's 5+1 rating was invented for). The previews for this movie pretty much tell you exactly what you're in for. Massive global destruction (Destructo-Porn as some call it) on a scale you have never seen before on film. If you want to see every city on the West Coast break into pieces and slide into the ocean... then this is the film for you. If you want to see the White House crushed by a aircraft carrier and then swamped by a 1000 foot tidal wave... then this is the film for you. If you want to see the Papal Basilica of Saint Peter collapse and roll over and crush the Pope and the masses gathered there to pray at the End of Days...then this is the film for you. I don't know why I love these types of scenes so much, but I do. I LOVE THEM! However, if you want a realistic story with characters that you care about, then for Gods sake... this is NOT the film for you!
I forgot to post a review for this movie after I saw it. It was really good though. Great revenge film (Like Taken.) Gerard Butler was awesome, and I liked seeing Jamie Fox as the victim. He's always so cocky in movies lately. The movie will probably be even better when they release it unrated on DVD. It had some scenes where you could tell they edited out some of the violence.
Paranormal Activity was super crazy scary. I don't remember the last time I was this tense in a movie (Maybe The Hurt Locker, but for different reasons). It's not a stuff jumps out at you kinda film like Japanese Horror (The Ring, The Grudge, etc.) It builds slowly and that's one of the things that's so scary about it.
The film basically involves a couple who leave a video camera on at night to document the supernatural disturbances that take place while they sleep. Then the following day they review the video and discuss and try to figure out what to do. But the disturbances are escalating.
The scenes of the couple sleeping are so scary. The first couple times get you used to it, but soon those scenes are like the first hill on a roller coaster you've never been on. As soon as you see that tape counter start to tick away in the corner of the screen, your muscles tense up and every hair on your body stands on end.
I do want to mention something I think is important. I'm not sure how well this movie will play on DVD. It might be scary to sit at home alone at night and watch it, but I went to a midnight show after a day of work in a packed theatre and that experience made it way better. The crowd was totally into it (Just like what you see in the preview). The movie has moments of total quiet where the entire audience goes quiet too so they can listen for the bumps and creaks, then everyone shrieks and screams the moment anything happens because by then you're so freaked out.
The actors and the camera work are so natural it really seems like your just watching a couple's home movie. It's like the scariest YouTube video ever made. By the way, if you worry that the film will be to "shaky" because it's shot on home video (Like Blair Witch, Cloverfield, Open Water, etc.) don't be. There are moments of shaky cam, but the guy often mounts the camera on a tripod or on the counter or a table or something so the shot is steady. You won't get sick watching this movie.
The couple kind of remind me of Jim & Pam from The Office, (but that might be because I watched The Office before I left to see the movie.)
This movie is only playing in limited release right now. I ran out to see it tonight because I wanted to catch it before it was gone. I recommend you do the same. Go see this in the theater, late at night, with a crowd, as soon as possible. Then see how well you sleep that night. I'm writing this review right now at 2am because I'm putting off going to sleep as long as I can.
Zombieland was OK. It was not as good as I was expecting. The previews and reviews had me peeing my pants with excitement for the last 2 weeks but for me, it did not live up to the hype. I LOVE zombie movies and don't get me wrong, this is one of the good ones, but it was not what I was hoping for.
Here's the good stuff - This film is not "low budget", they spent some money on it. The zombies look great and they are "sprinters", which I favor, even though zombie purists prefer the lumbering kind. The actor's were great. Woody Harrelson was awesome and really funny and the kid who acted like Michael Cera was funny too. I liked the girls as well. The well publicized cameo was fun too, but probably could have been funnier considering who it is.
Now, the stuff I didn't like - "The rules" idea was neat-o but there were only about 5 of them and that kinda petered out after the first 30 minutes of the film. I wanted to see more rules (in the vein of The Zombie Survival Guide). The movie started off strong, lots of zombie attacks, but the last hour of the film (except for the finale) was pretty slow. Too much down time between zombies. And finally, my biggest complaint and the reason the movie didn't live up to my expectations is the scope/scale wasn't big enough. In a film called "Zombieland" I expect to see an entire "world" of zombies. I mean millions and billions of them, literally. I want to see mass global destruction as well from the giant battle that took place at the start of the outbreak. A zombie apocalypse! If you read World War Z, you know what I want. I want to see stuff like "The Battle of Yonkers", the "Port sequence on the coast of India", etc. The final battle sequence in The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King proved that anything is possible with CGI, heck even the scene in the parking lot with the exploding truck in the 2004 Dawn of the Dead remake had 1000's of zombies in it. Dammit! I want to see multitudes of zombies! Give me my zombies! At the end of Zombieland when the zombies attack the amusement park in Los Angeles, there were probably about 100-150 zombies, tops. In 2008, the population of Los Angeles was 9,862,049! (I don't want people to confuse this last complaint with me saying that "the film is not realistic enough." I HATE that complaint. It's stupid. I know this is a freakin' zombie flick so I don't need realism, I just wanted a lot Lot LOT more zombies.)
They keep comparing this film to Shaun of the Dead. I understand why, because it's a zomcom, but Shaun was a million times better. Shaun of the Dead was, at ALL times, super funny and filled with zombie action. Plus major cast members were picked off along the way which makes for a more exciting story. The crew from Zombieland is, unfortunately, more fortunate.
I LOVE Michael Moore movies. As an armchair Socialist, I agree 100% with everything Michael Moore says and does. In fact in most cases I don't think he goes far enough. In my perfect world, I would be more than happy to give the government 90% or more of my income if everything I and everybody needed to survive comfortably was provided.
That said, Capitalism: A Love Story is probably one of Michael's weaker movies. The problem is Capitalism, while evil, is too broad in scope to attack in a single film. In Roger & Me the enemy was GM. In Bowling for Columbine it was Gun Control. In Sicko it was health care. These are pretty much single issue topics that I can get behind and against. GM was bad and wrong for putting profits and outsourcing ahead of the people who work for the company. America has way way way too many guns and crimes and death that results from them. And we as Americans have one of the most expensive and worst health care systems in the industrialized world. I get it. I agree. And while I also agree that Capitalism is a vile system that builds up and creates wealth for 1% of the population at the expense of the remaining 99%, and should have been abolished at the end of the last millennium, I don't think Michael did a good job of explaining why or how to do it in this film.
I don't want Soviet era communism or German Socialism like they had at the turn of the last century. Conservatives and anyone else who try to make that connection are idiots and fools. I want America, the leader of the world, to take the best parts of Socialism, and make it our own. It is an ideal system in it's purest form. Capitalism: A Love Story showed us what was wrong, I hope Michael's next film will show us the way.
Surrogates was not as good as I wanted it to be. Bruce Willis + Sci-Fi usually means movie gold, but not this time. I think the problem was that the story was kind of slow and the "smoothing effect" that they used on the surrogate robots was distractingly fake looking. Every time I see this used in a movie it fails to do what the film makers envision. Another disappointment was that the plot had a huge scope, but we only got to see a small scale slice of it. I get disappointed when a film has a global phenomena (everybody in the world is living their life through a surrogate robot) but we only get to see one or two perspectives in a few blocks of a single city.
Megan Fox's, I mean Jennifer's
Body, wasn't that good. It's like a weak horror version of
Heathers. It's basically a mediocre horror comedy with a girl so
distractingly hot that you forget that you just wasted 10 bucks and 90 minutes.
Cloudy
with a Chance of Meatballs
+
Just wanted to say, no kidding, Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs was the funniest movie I've seen all year. I might have liked it more than Sasha, and the 3D was the best I've ever seen.
Gamer got terrible reviews but I loved it. A warning- it is a frenzied, jump-cut edited, mishmash that very closely resembles the actual world of a first person shooter video game. If you play these or watch others play, then you will be used to the style, if you don't, the action scenes may cause nausea. The story too is weak and slapped together like an after-thought, also resembling the story lines of a first person shooter video game. But if you can and want to follow it, it's a fun new take on a movie we've all seen 100 times before. Prisoner is offered freedom if he fights to the death for the amusement of the public. The guy from 300 is the star, but my favorite character was the bad guy played by the guy who plays Dexter on Showtime. You don't need to see this at the theater, it might be more fun at home on the small screen while kicking back in your gaming chair.
The new film from the Office Space director will probably become a cult hit on DVD just like Office Space did. It's not as funny as Office Space, and Ben Affleck...
1. Should not have been cast as the friend and
2. Should not have been allowed to go with the Geico Caveman hair and beard look, it was way too distracting.
Other than Ben, it's a pretty good movie with some funny lines that will probably get better with age and repeated viewings.
Rob Zombie is a great horror director. I loved his first Halloween reboot, and if I hadn't missed the first 10 minutes of this sequel, I might have enjoyed it more. It was also my 3rd film of the day so I was a little worn out. It is fun and scary and has all the cool editing and dirty grungy scenery / people that we've come to expect from Zombie and his family of horror weirdos. I especially liked the supernatural element of having Michael's mother and younger self guide the actions of the older, gigantic monster. I'll probably enjoy this better at home the second time, maybe after a seeing the first one again to refresh my memory.
So obviously I liked the new Quentin Tarantino movie. He's never made one that I didn't love and this film is as "Tarantino'd" as all the others. Long stretches of stylized super-cool dialogue punctuated by bursts of extreme ultraviolence. I felt the time between action sequences was a little bit longer than I had anticipated but maybe that was because I watched Kill Bill again earlier in the week and that movie has a greater amount of action than typical QT films. I kinda went into this expecting 2.5 hours of Nazi's getting killed and brutalized in lusciously horrific ways (such is what you see in the movie trailer) but that actually represents a tiny fraction of the film. This is not an "Action" movie. The story and characters (as in all QT films) are the show. Probably because I'm still amped up on the mindless energy of summer popcorn flicks, I went into the theater with the wrong mindset. But after the first opening sequence (that lasts about a half hour and consists of a single conversation) I remembered what a Quentin Tarantino movie is all about and was able to enjoy and soak in the film noir/war movie/spy genre re-imagining that is Inglourious Basterds.
I had pretty high expectations for District 9. The teasers looked really cool but I had no real idea what the story was. 10 minutes into the movie all my expectations had been blown away. I LOVED every second of this movie. And it just gets better and better and better as it goes along.
It's filled with action, has a really cool, new and unique storyline. It's filmed in a part of the world (South Africa) that we almost never get to see in movies and uses all unknown actors so you can be worried for everybody.
The special effects are top notch (From the Lord of the Rings Weta team). There's an alien weapon that basically explodes anyone who gets shot with it in a giant wet burst like a bloody water balloon. It's also cool to see the way the whole film is all edited together using TV news reports and video surveillance footage.
Not giving too much away, it's also super-cool to see a flip on the alien invasion scenario. The humans are terrible and cruel and the aliens are the ones you sympathize with and root for. They were not really invading, they just kinda broke down over our planet.
Looking back over my favorite films of the year so far, District 9 has shot up the list to the number 3 spot right behind Watchmen and Star Trek.
This film is kind of a combination of Black Hawk Down and the sniper scene from Full Metal Jacket. Before going to see the movie I knew that it had a super high critics scores and having read a lot of reviews from normal people, found that military folk who actually served in Iraq and Afghanistan think it's a stupid Hollywood-ized joke. Since my least favorite critique of films is that "it was unrealistic", I'll have to side with the critics on this one. It was a exciting, edge of your seat, interesting look at one of the craziest most deadly jobs on the planet. I loved the film and recommend people rent it when it comes out on DVD. Maybe that's not how it "really" happens in Iraq, but it was fun to watch.
Harry
Potter and the Half Blood Prince
Here's the thing about the Potter films - I like them but since I never read the books, it's kind of like watching the first 7 episodes of a TV show, like lets say Lost or 24, spread out over 10 years. I usually barely know what's going on or who the characters all are. This movie was easier to follow than the last one though. I love Alan Rickman as Snape. My favorite kid at the school is Luna, she's a cool weird fun character. That's really all I have to say, I'm also kinda disappointed that the last chapter is going to be split into 2 films. That's just gonna make it even harder to follow. I'm guessing when it's all over I will be able to sit down and watch all 8 films back to back for 20 hours or so and it will all make a lot more sense to me. I hope anyway.
This movie wasn't gay enough for me. Just kidding. It was the perfect amount of gay. But it wasn't as funny as Borat. I would have liked it if Bruno did more of the "ambush the homophobes" type stuff. Like walking past an anti gay protest while strapped to another guy in bondage gear. That was awesome! Those were the best parts of the film.
Transformers:
Revenge of The Fallen +
I LOVED this movie. Granted, I liked the first one too. If you liked the first film, then this is basically the same movie turned up to 11. The last hour and 10 minutes of the show is basically just a non-stop giant robot battle. Awesome! If you were expecting anything more (like a really deep interesting story, or dramatic character development) then you're an idiot. Just sit down, grab a giant tub of popcorn and watch Megan Fox being crazy-sexy and a bunch of robots sluggin' it out for 2.5 hours. Now that's summer entertainment
I was disappointed with this movie. I can't even recommend that you should watch it on DVD. The talent involved (Harold Ramis directed, Jack Black, Michael Cera and David Cross) should have been able to come up with something better. I was expecting something on par with Mel Brook's History of the World Part 1, what I got was the most expensive Saturday Night Live skit in history.
Drag Me To Hell is a Sam Raimi movie (the guy who made the Evil Dead movies and the Spiderman movies.) This film is basically Evil Dead 4. I LOVED it! It's super scary, super funny and super exciting and entertaining from start to finish. This is not psychological thriller, it's a stuff jumps out and scares you out of your seat kind of movie. I definitely recommend going to see it at the theater soon, while there's still a crowd. It's fun to jump and scream with everybody else. If you don't catch it at the theater, this will be a good DVD to watch at home too, especially some night when you're all alone.
Honestly, did you even think for a second that I wouldn't Love this movie? I was so excited I actually dragged myself off my Flu Bed over the weekend and probably infected 500+ people just to see it. The story was cool and it was super fun to finally see a Terminator film set in the post apocalyptic Skynet future we've only seen glimpses of in the previous films and TV show. Christian Bale was awesome as John Conner. I hope he stays in the role. I was kinda disappointed that they didn't tie in the TV show at all. Since it may have been cancelled I suppose that makes sense, but it would have been neat to have one of the characters from the TV show walk by or something. My only other regret is that it was only PG-13. This could have been much more violent and R rated like the other films and that would have been just fine with me.
OK. I just got back from the midnight sneak preview of Star Trek. It was so awesome I thought I might literally explode from excitement! I had huge expectations and it surpassed even my wildest dreams. If the theater had been less packed, I would have been standing in my chair jumping up and down through the whole movie.
I consider myself a Trekker or Trekkie. I've seen all the shows, all the movies and read a bunch of the books. I'm not fanatic though. In other words, and I've said this before, I like "reboots". Especially the reboots of late. For example the last Batman movie wasn't just the best Batman movie ever, it was one of the best movies ever. So when it came time for Trek to get a do-over. I was excited by the prospect. When they cast Sylar as Spock, I was ecstatic. When I heard there were going to be some "changes" I was not alarmed and I welcomed them. I trust J.J. Abrams completely. He has never done anything I didn't LOVE. And the new Trek is just his newest triumph.
The action is off the charts exciting. The story which was tasked with re-introducing all the characters of the show, had enough of a plot to propel it past the confines of the standard 1st episode origin story. All the casting was perfect. As a fan of Heroes, it took about 30-45 minutes to get used to Sylar as Spock (I kept worrying that if he got too angry he might saw Kirk's head open.) But other than that, everyone did a great job with their roles. Chris Pine was awesome as Kirk. He had just enough of the swagger, but without making it too cartoony. Karl Urban was great as Dr. McCoy. His was probably the closest thing to imitation but it was very enjoyable. Shaun of the Dead is hilarious as Scotty, but doesn't show up until very late in the film (I almost forgot he was going to even be in the movie). And finally Eric Bana is great as the villain.
The effects and sound are off the charts cool. The scale of the bad guys ship is breathtaking. I saw it on an IMAX screen and I highly recommend you see it that way too. Everything's better in IMAX.
Anyway, I don't know what else I can say. I can't believe I'll probably have to wait at least 3 more years for the next film. But I can always go see this one again. And probably, sometime in the next few days, I will.
Funny note: Sasha calls this movie "X-Men Oranges." "Daddy, are you excited to go see X-Men Oranges?"
I knew I would like this movie before I even got the theater. I've been waiting all week to see it and it was exactly (though maybe a little less than) what I expected. We get Wolverine's origin story, but it feels like an abridged version. During the opening credits we see Wolverine and Sabertooth fighting in the Civil War, World Wars I and II and Vietnam. This was cool to see and I would have liked to have seen more of it. Like the first 1/2 of the movie could have been "The War Years." That would have been cool. Then we see him working for Stryker's Special branch, this too should have been longer. I wanted to see more scenes of the team in action, like in the African Diamond sequence. Anyway, it was fun for what it was and it was pretty much what I expected. So I was happy with it.
This movie falls into the Pineapple Express genre of comedy. It's not like a laugh a minute type film. It's got some funny moments, some serious moments and some over the top violence and male nudity. I'm not sure if I'm really a fan of this type of comedy yet. I keep going to see them and I like watching them, but they seem like the kind of films you only want and need to see once.
I'm not sure why reviews for this movie are so poor. It could be that Nic Cage has been making too many mediocre movies lately and the reviewers are punishing him? It could be that on the surface this film looks like a stupid numerology movie along the lines of The Number 23? Whatever the reason, everybody (except Roger Ebert) is wrong about this one. Knowing is a super cool film with some outstanding special effects and a decent twist at the end that hopefully you won't find out about in a spoiler before you see it. I love Alex Proyas movies (Dark City, I Robot, etc) so I am biased and if you love Alex Proyas, then the twist in this movie won't be too much of a surprise. That's the only hint I'll give. Anyway, I really liked this movie and I was happy I saw it in the theater. The big special effect scenes will be diminished no matter how big your TV is.
The remake of Last House on the Left is pretty much a waste of time. I was really disappointed with it. I'm a fan of the original. That movie was a little slow but much more raw. This remake is too clean and (I know this is horrible to say but) not violent enough. It's not that I have a problem with the new horror remakes. I liked the remakes of Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Halloween, The Hills Have Eyes, etc. but this one didn't really improve on the concept. The good thing about the remakes is they tend to be better paced and have more aggressive editing. Unfortunately the new Last House on the Left doesn't.
Watchmen
+
It's 3:28am. I just got back from the midnight sneak preview of Watchmen. I'm so excited I can't sleep. It will probably take much of the day tomorrow to process everything I just saw. This is a superhero movie unlike anything you've ever seen before. For many that will be a bad thing. The ratings I've seen so far are wildly mixed. Scores of 100 at the top and I'm sure there will be some zeros by mid afternoon tomorrow. Obviously I'm in the 100 category (as if I would be anywhere else.) I went into this film expecting to come out a different person. It happens every so often for me. So now I'm living in the post-Watchmen era of my life. Although I'm a huge fan of comic and graphic novel inspired movies, and a fair weather fan of comics and graphic novels themselves, I've never taken the time to read Watchmen. So I went into this movie almost completely in the dark as far as story, characters, history, themes, etc. I was going to get a copy and read it before the movie, but now having seen the movie and reading some articles that say the film IS the Graphic Novel, I guess it would be redundant to read it now. And that's fine with me. I'll write a little more tomorrow. I have to get to bed now.
OK, Its the next day now. I got 4 hours of sleep last night and I'm semiconscious. I'm going to break my short review rule and write a full blown movie review here. I feel I need to defend Watchmen against the slew of bad reviews I've been reading today. I'm kinda loopy from lack of sleep, but let the madness begin!
Often when I give a great score to a poorly reviewed movie I like to say "They didn't understand it." "Peter Travers must have been off his meds today." "Most people are idiots" "America is too dumb to get it" "Reviewers are all stupid and too critical and I hate them." I still believe all of those things apply for Watchmen, but I can understand, in this instance, why people don't like this film and I will start my review with warnings where I tell you 10 reasons why you shouldn't see this film.
Including previews this film is
3 hours long. For me that's a sign of a good film that is being
allowed to show you everthing they wanted you to see. So if you can't
sit still or focus for 3 hours in a row, don't go see Watchmen.
Multiple story lines,
flashbacks, timeline fragmentation over about 100 years. Remember in Pulp
Fiction when John Travolta got killed in the bathroom and then at the
end of the film he was eating with Sam Jackson in that restaurant. If
that blew your little mind then you're too stupid to see this film. If
you can't follow a story line that unfolds in a non-linear direction don't
go see Watchmen.
Ultraviolence. This is not
Spiderman. The "bad guys" are not captured and left
in a web for the authorities. Most are dispatched in the most violent
way available at the moment. Not a fan of seeing people literally beat
to a pulp, blown up, have their head and limbs ripped, cut and bashed
off? This movie is filled with that. Don't go see Watchmen.
Full frontal male nudity. Squeamish
about that? There's lots of it. Don't go see Watchmen.
If you want to take your kids to
see the new "comic book" movie. For God's sake, don't go see
Watchmen.
Practically every character in Watchmen
is bad. There are no "good guys". There's just bad
guys, really bad guys and really really bad guys. Need a movie with
easily distinguishable Heroes and Villains? Don't go see Watchmen.
With one exception, all the
characters start the movie with their powers and for some you never really
understand what the power is or how they got it. Need Origin Stories
or explanations of how and why a superhero has a special gift or
power? You're not going to get that here. Don't go see Watchmen.
Are you a literary or source
material snob? "It's
not as good as the book" "They left out Tales of the
Black Freighter" Blah blah
boo freakin' hoo. This is the FILM Watchmen. If you don't
want to see the film version, Don't go see Watchmen.
(Incidentally, along with 300 and Sin City, this might be the
most faithful adaptation of source material in history.)
"There's too much
hype!" "Nothing popular is cool." "If the
corporate suits want me to see it, then I ain't going." "The
soundtrack wasn't released on SubPop" "No one will ever
understand me!" If you've said
any of these last few quotes for any reason - Don't go see Watchmen.
Mom & Dad Wiseman. You will hate this movie and when you tell me you hate it it will just make me mad. Don't go see Watchmen.
Now that we got that out of the way, let me just say - WOW! I LOVED this movie. I cannot wait to see it again and again and again. This is an epic supehero movie. The characters are all super-cool. The special effects are incredible. The action and violence comes in fast harsh bursts and is connected by interesting storylines that keep the film on course and ever driving forward.
Rorschach played by Jackie Earl Haley is awesome. Every scene he's in is riveting. Best line in the movie, when Rorschach is in prison and he attacks a guy who threatens him, he shouts to everyone "I am not locked in here with you! You are locked in here with ME!" The Comedian is also a very bad superhero. Often employed by the US government to do it's dirty work, his story is told in flashbacks. He's bad. Really bad. But he's the fun one. Ozymandias is super rich, smart, fast and strong and has built his fortune by unmasking himself and doing things like selling action figures of himself. Silk Spectre II is just a super sexy second generation ass kicking chick. That's all that needs to be said about her. Nite Owl II is kinda like Batman (Plus as a bonus, out of costume, he looks and acts like a young Chevy Chase as Clark Griswold) but he seems to have enhanced strength. Actually all the supers seem to have enhanced strength and speed but this is never explained. We do see examples in the past though where supers are gunned down, so most of them are not immortal. And that brings us to Dr. Manhattan. The only super who gets an origin story and the only one with truly super powers. He is, for all intents and purposes, a god.
In a nutshell, the whole story is that the Comedian gets murdered and Rorschach investigates his murder. There, I explained the whole film in one sentence.
Zack Snyder is the director. He made 300 and the Dawn of the Dead remake and can, in my book, do no wrong. Plus if you listen to his commentary tracks, he's like an excited kid about making movies so I know his heart is in his work. I can and do vicariously take joy in his success and exuberance.
Go see Watchmen. I can't guarantee you'll like it, but I can guarantee that you've never seen anything like it before.
I made a huge mistake with this one. It was a choice between The International and the new Friday the 13th movie. I checked the reviews and even though the critics seemed to think Friday the 13th was fun, they only gave it a collective score of 35. The reviews for The International were not much better but I've seen the ads and previews, I love Clive Owen so I figured it was a safe bet. Boy, was I wrong. This is the most boring "thriller" I've ever seen. It was like a James Bond movie with no action at all that you arrived for 20 minutes late and then left 20 minutes before it's was over. It had one super cool shoot out scene at the Guggenheim museum in New York, but that's literally the only fun or interesting thing in this whole movie. Don't even rent it, you'll regret the lost time.
This is without a doubt the best 3D movie ever made. It's a creepy and kinda scary story that's NOT really for little kids. If you have an hour, I recommend the book as well but it's not necessary to enjoy the movie. They did an outstanding job here. There was a grown man next to me in the theater who jumped and screamed twice! There were also a bunch of 3D previews for other animated movies before this one and if this is the future of film, then bring it on! P.S.- stay through the end credits for an extra cool little 3D effect.
Oh My God. I LOVED this movie so much. When I saw the commercials I knew I had to see it. I had really high expectations and they were met and exceeded. This is not a great movie. It's just a really super fun action movie. (Plus it helps if you have a daughter. It makes it more exciting.) The whole movie is just Liam Neeson killing about 60 or 70 guys on the way to finding his daughter who has been kidnapped. It was awesome!
I've seen documentaries about Harvey Milk before so his story was not unknown to me. Sean Penn does a great job as Harvey and James Franco is super as Harvey's boyfriend Scott Smith. This is a great story but really sad. I got kinda weepy at the end.
This movie was a little slower than I expected. It was fun to see the Jews fight back and kill a ton of Nazis. Plus it was apparently based on a true story so that's kinda neat.
2008 Movies
We saw this on the MLK holiday. Even though it's 2009 now, this is technically a 2008 movie, and since it will win the Best Picture of 2009, I will add it to my 2008 list. I wanted to see The Curious Case of Benjamin Button more, but I am confident that this movie is going to win Best Picture so I thought I better see it first. Plus Holly really wanted to see this one. Here's Holly's review: "Slumdog Millionaire is the best movie I've seen in years and one of the best movies ever made." I disagree. The nominated films this year all seem mediocre and/or boring to me (I'm literally furious that The Dark Knight, my choice for Best Picture of the year, was not nominated.) Nonetheless, Slumdog is a good movie and worth seeing. I liked it. It's Forrest Gump meets City of God. How's that for a crazy mash up?
This was the only movie I saw over the holidays. With all the highly reviewed, Oscar nominated end of year prestige movies playing, Jeff and I decided to see the one the critics all hated the most. Written and directed for the screen by Frank Miller (Sin City) and using nearly the same special effects as Sin City made this a film I had to see (Because I love Sin City.) I was not disappointed, since I had such low expectations going into it based on the horrid reviews. I liked it. It was fun. It had cool villains (Sam Jackson & Scarlett Johansson) and Eva Mendes wearing nothing and next to nothing, what's not to like?
I saw this movie before I left for Christmas and LOVED it. I watched the original the week before this new one came out and it was fun to see what they kept and what they changed. I was surprised there was so much backlash about this film. Keanu is great as Klatu and the special effects are super cool. Plus this was the first movie I saw on the new IMAX screen at my theater so that was a big bonus too!
I'll be brief with this review because I don't want to upset my teenage niece who LOVES the book series that this movie is based on. Twilight is nothing like what is advertised in the trailers or TV ads. There is very little action, almost no vampire "stuff" going on and it's basically just an overly adorable love story. Think Lost Boys meets 90210. I probably should be embarrassed to say that I've been a fan of the Anne Rice (Interview with an Vampire) vampire books and movies but they seem, by comparison, to be high art. Holly said it best when we left the theater after Twilight: "It was like chapter one of the 'My First Little Vampire' series."
I LOVE the new Bond movies. Daniel Craig's Bond is so hardcore tough. I always loved Pierce Brosnan (I waited my whole life for him to become Bond, but Craig is a 1000 times better.) A lot of the reviews for this movie have been complaining that he's too somber and angry. I agree, but I love it. This is the first Bond sequel, in that it starts right where the last one left off, and Bond is pissed off and just kicking ass and killing his way through the whole movie. It was so awesome. Can't wait for the next one.
I was disappointed by this movie. I really like Paul Rudd and I thought the idea of a movie that makes fun of the Big Brothers program was a great idea but it was poorly executed. The movie seemed too improvised and they let some of the players like Jane Lynch ramble on way past the point of the joke not being funny anymore. And the little kid who swears all the time, that's funny for about 5 minutes and then it's just annoying.
I had low expectations for this movie. The reviews were poor and Kevin Smith films can go either way. But I loved this movie! I was laughing out loud and like crazy through the whole movie. It's VERY over the top with crude language and situations so if you're offended by anything, don't go. I especially loved the cast. Seth Rogan was awesome and perfect. I love Elizabeth Banks (have ever since she was on Scrubs) and Darryl from The Office is really funny too. Oh, and Justin Long (from the Mac & PC ads) has a hilarious cameo with Brandon Routh (the new Superman).
Here's the thing about W, if you're expecting Oliver Stone to tear apart President Bush and expose him for the fool he is, you're only going to get half of what you wanted. Bush is unbelievably stupid. Horrifyingly so. But you also see that he is very much a pawn of those around him. This is not to say that he is excused from his crimes against humanity, but we can at least better understand how and why he brought this once great country to the brink of disaster and ruin. We'll leave it to Michael Moore to one day do the film that shows us the horrible and unfortunate aftermath of the Bush presidency.
Max Payne is a fun video game based, comic looking, Constantine feeling, Sin City type rip off. This is not to say that it wasn't fun to watch, it just wasn't new in any way. We've seen all this done before and done better.
Quarantine was a huge surprise for me. I had read some reviews, or at least review blurbs, the weekend it came out and people seemed to not like it. But now I've seen it and I can say it's a super fun scary good time that will probably make it to my Top 10 list of 2008. It's got the shaky single camera caught on tape thing like Cloverfield. And the zombies (they're not really zombies, but lets just call them that since everything they do is zombi-ish) are very much like the awesome relentless sprinting crazy variety like the Dawn of the Dead remake and 28 Days Later. I loved this movie and it scared me many times while I was watching it. The scariest thing about it is it's plausibility. Forget the reviews, this one is a must see in the theater. Don't wait until the DVD comes out. It needs to be seen on the big screen.
Tropic Thunder
Tropic Thunder was super funny. There's some fake previews before the movie that are even funnier than the movie that follows but it's still a good film. Robert Downey Jr. is awesome. I can also see why the retarded people got upset and protested the film but it was still hilarious. It's also kinda violent and super rated R, so that's cool too.
Pineapple Express
Pineapple Express is like a Cheech and Chong movie directed by Quentin Tarantino. It's got cool hip dialogue and then some over the top scenes of violence. It was really funny though. I saw it at the same time as Tropic Thunder and because I saw this one first I might have liked it a little more. I'm also a little partial to the Judd Aptow movies that have saturated the theaters for the last couple years. Seth Rogen was pretty much himself, but James Franco was awesome and almost unrecognizable.
The X-Files 2: I Want to Believe
Of all the people you know, nobody loved The X-Files more than me, and that's why it literally hurts me to report that I did not like this film. So why did I give it 4 stars? Honestly I couldn't bring myself to score it lower, but I can tell you I was actually bored while I was watching this movie. I was worried when I saw the previews for the film. There was nothing in the previews that looked interesting or fun. I hoped this was because they were hiding all the cool stuff and just showing enough in the preview to remind people about how much they loved X-Files. Unfortunately they did kind of show the best parts of the film in the trailers, the rest is even less interesting. I'm so disappointed I could cry. I have to stop now. I can't believe I had to write a review like this for one of my all time favorite TV shows.
Hellboy 2: The Golden Army
It took me a few viewings to like the first Hellboy. This time I knew what to expect going in and the crazy good reviews elevated my expectations. I was not disappointed. If you liked the effects and characters of Pan's Labyrinth then I guarantee you will like this film. It's a really fun movie.
The Dark Knight+
The Dark Knight. They got that right. This is the darkest, most noir, superhero film ever made. Frank Miller's (Sin City) influences are all over this one. I knew I was going to love this movie and for once, the critics are all on board as well. The scores over on Metacritic are off the charts. I can't believe how many 100's this film has received. It deserves them for sure and this is in large part thanks to Heath Ledger. Everything you've heard about his performance is true. Remember Hannibal Lechter in The Silence of the Lambs? It's that kind of "once every decade" performance. He's so awesome here words can't even describe it. Everyone in the movie is in top form. This is one of the best movies of 2008, make no mistake, you must see this film.
Hancock
Here's the thing about Hancock - It's new. It's kind of a new superhero story too. Sure there's been comics that have done the down and out, dirty and corrupted superhero, but we haven't really seen it yet in film (I'll pretend I didn't see My Super Ex Girlfriend.) So that's the fun here. It's something new and since it's not based on a comic, we don't know what to expect. After seeing the previews, I thought I knew what to expect and now that I've seen it I was even more happy with the film than I anticipated. It's funny and fun, just like a good Superhero movie should be. The reviewers are being unusually harsh on this film, but don't believe them. If you like Will Smith (like I do) and Superhero movies then you will like Hancock. It's as easy as that.
Wanted+
This movie was as awesome as I expected it to be. Angelina was screaming hot. And the kid from Last King of Scotland did a good job in the Neo role. Speaking of Neo, we can all agree that the lobby gunfight in The Matrix is one of the coolest action sequences ever filmed right? Now we can add to that list the Textile Mill gunfight sequence in Wanted. Yes... It's that good. My only problem with this movie, if you could call it a problem, is that the training portion of the film is a little too long. It would have been cooler to see him go on more assassination missions. As it is, with the long training section, it's kind of like the "Rocky" of Assassin movies.
Get
Smart
I was disappointed with this movie. It's either a bad action movie with a few good jokes or a mediocre comedy with action sequences. The actors all did fine I guess, Steve Carell did a decent Maxwell Smart impression (I was a fan of the TV show as a kid, so I might be kind of overly critical.) Maybe on a different day I would have liked it more?
The
Love Guru
Critics hated this movie. I'm not sure why. It's basically just an Austin Powers movie. I loved all 3 of the Austin Powers movies and I laughed out loud all the way through this movie. Justin Timberlake and Ben Kingsley were hilarious too. And Jessica Alba is in it! It's a really funny movie. So if you liked the Austin Powers movies then you will like the Love Guru. It's as simple as that. The reviewers are wrong about this one.
The
Incredible Hulk+
First I'll say that I'm a fan of ALL comic book movies and that I liked the first Hulk movie 5 years ago too. This one is better though. It's not a "Reboot." It starts right where the last one left off. The opening credits cover the whole "How he became the Hulk process." I love Edward Norton and he is great as Banner. This movie also has a lot more winks and nods to the TV show so that's fun. It also has a little more humor. And best of all, now that Marvel is producing the movies themselves the cross-over future is looking bright! Keep an eye open for Robert Downey Jr. as Tony Stark and references to SHIELD.
The
Happening
If you saw the trailer for The Happening, then you saw a 3 minute version of this movie that was much better than the whole film. This is not to say it wasn't worth watching but I actually saw the trailer again about 15 minutes after the film ended (when I snuck in to see The Strangers) and I thought, Wow! I wish the movie I just watched was that good! The best thing about it is it's one step closer to a hypothetical film that Holly and I have been waiting our whole lives for. You know that first 15 minutes at the beginning of the remake of Dawn of the Dead. We want to see a whole movie that just shows the quick collapse of society. Everybody going crazy and all systems failing. Chaos. Anarchy. Weeeeeeeeeee!
The
Strangers
This was a scary fun film. It reminded me of a European horror film like Funny Games (The Austrian Version) or The Vanishing (The Dutch Version). It's not fast paced and the body count isn't high but it's a good scare and it's plausibility is the real terror. Whenever I see a house out in the country set back in the woods I always assume that the people who live there are on borrowed time.
Forgetting Sarah Marshall
Here's another comedy from the guys who made Knocked Up, Superbad, Walk Hard and The 40 Year Old Virgin. This was a nice funny romantic comedy. Along the same lines as Knocked Up. Ugly, weird, nerdy guy loses and then gets another super hot girl that would only be possible in a Aptow movie. It had some really funny jokes but nothing compared to the rapid fire hilarity of Walk Hard. It's a good date movie though. So if you can't get the wife or girlfriend to go see Iron Man (And you should really try for that first) then you could do worse than seeing Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Remember Made of Honor is still in theaters too and you don't want to end up there!
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
I'm a huge fan of the Indy movies. I've seen them all many many many times. This new one was good. I liked everything about it. More CGI than ever before but that's cool with me. I don't mind. It was fun like the other three films before it. I would say it falls into the Temple of Doom category. If I was to rank them I would probably say the order is now 1-3-4-2. Don't be discouraged by this though. Go see it. It's a fun summer movie and honestly if you're a fan of the series it's not like you have a choice.
Speed Racer
I was never a fan of the Speed Racer cartoon. But I am a huge fan of the Matrix series and this is the first film those guys have done since then so despite bad reviews I decided to give the film a shot. Here's all I have to say - If you want to save 7 bucks just do this: Take some blue, red, green and yellow food coloring, put a few drops of each into the toilet, stick your head into the toilet, open your eyes and flush. Do this for 2 hours and 15 minutes and you can then say that you've seen Speed Racer.
Iron Man +
Iron Man is the first blockbuster of Summer 2008. I haven't decided yet if it is "The Best" or just "One of the Best" Superhero films EVER MADE. It was so awesome!!! DO NOT MISS this film at the theater. Even if you don't know who Iron Man is. But if you do it's even better (also if your a fan of the comic then definitely stay through the end credits for a awesome bonus scene.
Young @ Heart
My neighbor gave us free tickets to a sneak
preview of this movie. It's not the kind of film I would normally go see
but Holly said the movie review guy she listens to on the radio liked it and I
read a few good things about it in Entertainment Weekly. It was
OK. Kind of cute, kind of sad. The film is about a group of very old
people who perform somewhat contemporary rock songs. If you're a fan of
80s and 90's rock like The Talking Heads or even a sort of contemporary band
like Coldplay, and you want to hear what it sounds like being sung by a group of
80 years olds - Then this is the movie for you!
Semi Pro
Just when I started liking Will Ferrell movies (Talladega Nights, Blades of Glory) he makes another sports spoof and this one only has a few laughs in it. Time to move on Will.
Be Kind Rewind
As a former amateur filmmaker I liked this film because it reminded me of the "Titanic" video that Holly and I shot 10 years ago. If the whole film was just about 2 guys shooting super low budget remakes of famous movies, and we got to see the movies, then I probably would have liked it better. But, the film has a message and a heart and a sweet sentimentality that I found kind of boring.
Jumper
This film had cool special effects but seemed more like the pilot episode of a TV show than a feature movie. The story really got going about 2 minutes before the film ended. Will there be another episode next week?
Atonement
I don't want to sound like a idiot so I'm not going to say Atonement was a bad film but I will say this: Having not read the book, I found the shifting time periods and Rashomon-like perspectives confusing. Holly read the book so she was there to whisper in my ear what was going on when I got that confused look on my face. It's not that I can't deal with these elements in a film, Quentin Tarantino can chop a movie into pieces, throw it in the air and glue it back together and I can follow along fine. I think in this case the problem lies in the parts of the story that were not filmed, and the parts that were, did not form a cohesive whole. Plus it was a chick-flick and I thought it was kind of boring. There, I said it.
Cloverfield
+
AWESOME! BRILLIANT! THE BEST FILM OF 2008 SO FAR! OUT-FREAKING-STANDING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
