contest

I don't care how much voltage you use Mr. Bauer. I WILL NOT TALK!
-Submitted by Holly

What kind of nature camp is this?!
Don't we at least get something to eat?
-Submitted by Grandpa Fisher

"Umm, mommy. I have to go potty. Whoops. False alarm."
-Submitted by Sylvia Fisher

"It's all right you forgot to pack my clothes, Mommy.
It's warm here in Alabama, and I'm just not that into fashion."
-Submitted by Grandma Fisher

"Of course I could eat it! Just put it in this bowl.
Whadya mean no shoes no service?"
-Submitted by Grandpa Wiseman

"Before opening her Christmas presents.
Sasha diagrams the play she will use to get across the room to be the first to open a gift."
-Submitted by Mommy

"If you like this picture--Let me tell you the story behind it."
- Submitted by Grandpa Wiseman

“Like most Lowes delivery drivers, life seemed to just go in circles.”
- Submitted by Jeff Till

"Teacups?! We don't ride no stinking teacups!"
- Submitted by Uncle Fred Johnson

“To the young and inexperienced terrorist hostage, “Waterboarding” sounded like fun at first...”
- Submitted by Jeff Till

“Sasha’s first blackhead was a doozy”
- Submitted by Jeff Till

"Although it seemed pretty cool while she was getting ready for the concert,
Sasha felt embarrassed once onstage in her 'Ziggy Stardust' jumpsuit."
- Submitted byHolly

"After watching a Discovery Channel Special about 'How birds feed their babies', Sasha asks if anyone wants to share her pretzel"
- Submitted byAlan

"As the monkeys descended, Sasha tried to think of all the good times she had known.
Life, precious life."
- Submitted byUncle Mark Fisher

"Perhaps her shoes were too tight,
or maybe her head wasn't screwed on just right. . . "
- Submitted by Uncle Mark Fisher

"Daddy, you really like Primus? You can't be serious!"
- Submitted by Sasha's Mommy

"No no, Mommy, you don't have to sing any more lullabies....
I promise to go to sleep, if you just stop!"
- Submitted by Sasha's Mommy

"Ha Ha . . . you can't see me when my eyes are closed!"
- Submitted by Sasha's Mommy

"If I wish hard enough, maybe Daddy will stop taking pictures."
- Submitted by Sasha's Mommy

"These friggin' glass slippers are killing me!"
- Submitted byUncle Mark Fisher

"Check it out Nation. My 'Two-Year Old' Friend!"
- Submitted by Stephen Colbert

"Competing with a toothbrush and a pacifier, Sasha's pancakes had to do
something special to convince Sasha what should go in her mouth next."
- Submitted by Jeff Till

"Sasha's breakfast had her name written all over it."
- Submitted by Jeff Till

"Food often spoke to her, yet no one ever believed"
- Submitted by Uncle Mark Fisher

Darth Kai's penguin slippers made her dark force powers seem less menacing.- Submitted by Jeff TillThe other Hobbits teased Sasha Baggins about her binky, but she didn't care. The other Hobbits teased Sasha Baggins about her binky, but she didn't care. - Submitted by Jeff TillAs one of the first students of Griffindor's pre-school,
her magic was undisciplined at best. As one of the first students of Griffindor's pre-school,
her magic was undisciplined at best. - Submitted by Jeff TillIts a bird, its a plane.... Its poopypants! Its a bird, its a plane.... Its poopypants! - Submitted by Jeff Till

"Honestly, when it comes to the plight of the everyman in pre-revolutionary Russian literature, I find Russian Formalist criticism derived from the St. Petersburg OPOJAZ to be more valid than that of the the Moscow Linguistic Circle." - Submitted by Jeff Till

Sasha auditions for "Cops": "You! Fat man! Step AWAY from the vehicle. Drop the reins! I repeat: drop the reins!" (Bad boys, bad boys! Whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do when she come for you?)
- Submitted by Uncle Fred

"Now hear this, Homer! Tell Santa to deliver my stuff to Michigan! Got that? To Michigan!"
- Submitted by Grandma and Grandpa Fisher

"The louder Sasha screamed, the more silent Santa Homer became." - Submitted by Jeff Till

All through the autumn day
Green leaves slowly fade,
And gently land upon the ground
For happy Sasha to roll and play
And through the cool autumn nights
Brought forth from the dimming lights
Sleepy Sasha makes no sound
As she dreams in bed, warm and tight
- Submitted by Jeff Till

I concede! Jeff Till's caption this month cannot be bettered! Wonderful!
-Uncle Fred Johnson

"the ribbon-cutting ceremony for Sandtopia was almost ruined
by Sasha's stealthy, larcenous grasp."
- Submitted by Jeff Till

"Yeah, I'm thinking about putting the entertainment center over here in this area."
- Submitted by Holly "Mommy" Wiseman

"Stuck fast to the wall of flypaper,
Sasha could only await the giant spider's approach."
- Submitted by Uncle Mark Fisher

"Curse this wretched drink that has made the years drain by,
blurring the days together meaninglessly like the last scotch on a hard day's night. Can I even count the years gone by? 1.....2....."
- Submitted by Jeff Till

"Just a dab of OxyClear for Babies will keep your child pimple-free!"
- Submitted by Uncle Mark Fisher

“Raw fish and seaweed. Oh, I get it! It’s like PRETEND food, right?
It’s a joke, right? Daddy?”
- Submitted by Frederick A. Johnson

Sasha's politically incorrect impersonation of a Chinese person
( "Me so hungly for soy sauce and robster craws!") played well
to the table, but went over the Asian waitstaff's heads.
- Submitted by Jeff Till

“ Dad, you know what's good by the shore? 'See food' ”
- Submitted by Jeff Till

“Sasha tried to disguise herself as a bucket, but her hat, open mouth, bright clothes, and human form give her away”
- Submitted by Jeff Till

“Hot, sandy Goldfish crackers make us want to barf too.”
- Submitted by Jeff Till

“You make think its funny, but Bob Denver is pissed and he wants his hat back”.
- Submitted by Jeff Till

(After Spocksha saves the ship from Kahn's attack...)
"REMEMBER." - Submitted by Jeff Till

Sasha's friends visit to play her new game, "Duck, Duck, Duck".
- Submitted by Grandma and Grandpa Fisher

“Daddy always says to share my things…would you like a booger? They’re good!”
- Submitted by Frederick A. Johnson

“Sasha, I said to ‘feed the doggie at dawn’…
not ‘feed the doggie Dawn.’ …
Well…yes, honey, I know…but you keep getting it wrong.”
- Submitted by Frederick A. Johnson

"Although not as bad as the frogs or pestilence, the bubble
plague God sent still created terror among the locals."
- Submitted by Jeff Till

"Yes you, get lost! You're ruining my concentration, I had the 'Big Bang' just about figured out."
- Submitted by Grandpa Fisher

"Sasha's new cereal would require a bigger bowl than the Wiseman's were accustomed to."
- Submitted by Jeff Till

"Smartly looking ahead to save the family some money down the road, daddy begins training Sasha in the art of shoplifting at an early age." - Submitted by Jeff Till

"Well, how do you think a tooth fairy gets business?
Right! We give out candy at Halloween!"
- Submitted by Grandma & Grandpa Fisher

"Sasha's first annual 'birth canal reenactment' was a lot easier on mommy than the original event."
- Submitted by Jeff Till

"Despite repeated warnings of dangerous highwaymen,
Sasha decided to hitchhike back to her old home"
- Submitted by Jeff Till

"Daddy may have disappeared, but at least his board survived!"
- Submitted by Mark Fisher

"Sasha resorts to violence after being unable to convince her dad that the dialog in Matrix 3 was simultaneously obtuse and trite" - Submitted by Jeff Till

"Sorry Daddy! Gotta make room for more Disney films!"
- Submitted by Joseph Lyttle

"Maybe people in the South think they're great, but personally,
I don't think these 'wood-chip' boxes are anywhere near as fun as Michigan sandboxes." - Submitted by Holly Wiseman

"As Sasha reaches the summit of Mt. Doom, she flings her precious toys into the fiery pit."- submitted by Barbara Fisher

"Sasha takes the silver in the parallel bars, losing points only for misplaced drool." - Submitted by Jeff Till

"No one except for Holly and Sasha knew what Bob Harris whispered to Charlotte
in the closing scene of the Wiseman's version of Lost in Translation" - Submitted by Jeff Till

"The first tooth was much larger and more colorful than Sasha
had expected. She now was much less enthusiastic about the whole teething process." - Submitted by Jeff Till

"After watching How The Grinch Stole Christmas Sasha Kai role plays by eating all the presents."
- submitted by Barbara Fisher

(December 2004)
"I don't know how to tell you this without hurting your feelings, Daddy, but you have bad breath . . . "
- Submitted by Professor Wiseman
Old Dominion University

"Hip-hop artists Chalkie S-A-S-H and Killah Monkface talk on the cellie with their peeps." - Submitted by Jeff Till

"When her exhausted parents finally whisper, 'She's asleep at last!', Sasha Kai slyly lifts her head and stares at them until they cry." - Submitted by Barbara Fisher

"Although she had hoped a top-hat-wearing cricket would be her guiding conscience, Sasha would be cursed with Dopey Duck forever whispering bad advice into her ear." - Submitted by Jeff Till